Page 26 of Shadowborne: Reckoning

My eyes still stung with unshed tears. My throat closed to a pinch.

But my mate… my massive, powerful mate, set the soap aside long enough to run his fingers slowly through my hair, rinsing the soap from it, letting his palms play up and down my spine, ensuring every last bubble was gone, before leaning over to pick up the little cake again and soaping his hands.

Then he started at my right hand, using his thumbs to knead out tightness on my palms. Twining his fingers between mine to wash grime from between them. The lines on his brow deepening when he discovered the bruises on my wrist.

He soaped the limb slowly, tracing fingers and palms gently all the way up to my shoulder and back, then held it under the water before pulling it back to him, and opening his mouth on that spot, kissing it softly. So softly, I blinked away new tears.

And then he washed my shoulders and collarbones. My breasts, my ribs—with a hiss at the bruising evident there. And this time he hunched, curled his large body up and sank into a crouch to brush his lips there, too.

Slowly.

Tenderly.

And so, he continued down my entire body, soaping himself, touching me, washing my skin clean, grief rumbling low in his chest at every bruise that he kissed away.

And I cried, watching him.

I knew I cried. Was aware of my vision blurring. Aware of my chest catching. But in the bond, he whispered to me, and something deep in my heart slowly healed.

‘…so precious, and beautiful and stunning, Bren. I’ll always marvel at you…’

‘…didn’t deserve any of this. I’ll never let it happen to you again…’

‘…I’m here, shhhhhh. I’m here. You’re safe.’

The water turned off and I lifted my head, blinking, realizing I was seated in the bottom of the bath, naked, my arms wrapped around my knees and Donavyn gathering me in.

“I can walk, don’t have to—”

“Hush. I need to tell you something.”

He picked me up, carried me at his broad chest, stepped out of the bath and lowered me to a small stool, then grabbed the thick towel that was the size of a small blanket, and began to gently rub my limbs as he knelt in front of me, his gaze sliding back and forth between where he dried me, and my eyes.

“My first battle,” he said in a low voice, “was… thrilling. Until the dragons began to scream.” He swallowed hard and I felt the clench in him. The brace against pain. I sat up straighter, reaching for him, but he caught my hands in the towel and shook his head, his eyes locked on mine until I relaxed again, then he went back to his task and continued speaking. “I lost a dear friend that day—and the dragon lost his Pair. I’d never felt anything like it—as if a part of me had been hollowed out. At first, I just kept going. I was commended in the weeks after that battle. As a Wing Lieutenant, I gathered my squad and assisted my Captain and… I did all the things I was supposed to. But every hour this piece of me seemed to yawn wider. Until one day, weeks later, someone made a joke at my friend’s expense—an exchange he would have heartily enjoyed if he’d been there—but I snapped. I had the brother against a wall and bleeding before I was even aware I’d moved. Kgosi was… not pleased. And my Wing Captain was forced to discipline me.”

He had both arms around me, drying my back and he stopped suddenly, his eyes unfocused, his expression empty. “At least, that’s what I thought at the time.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant, but he cleared his throat and stood to step around me, drawing my hair back and wrapping it in the towel as he continued the tale.

“He took me off patrols for a week. Had the Furymaster tell Kgosi that I was grounded, and wasn’t to fly until I’d cried. Though he didn’t use those words with me.”

I blinked and tried to turn to look at him over my shoulder. “Until you’d cried?”

“I thought he was humiliating me,” Donavyn said in a low rasp, holding my hair and twisting it, stopping me from turning as he turned the towel into a turban on my head. “I was furious. I had no idea the gift he’d given me. It took me four days to let go of the anger, and just weep. And honestly, in the middle of it, I thought I was losing my mind. I thought I’d never draw a clear breath again.”

He tucked the end of the towel underneath to keep it in place, then moved around to stand between my knees and squatted, putting himself lower than me. He stared up at me, his warm eyes pleading and firm and… difficult to read.

“Bren, if you don’t talk about this, if you make yourself stay angry, it will eat you alive. The dragons can help. God will always listen. But I need you to know, I will too. What happened to you… that would break any man. No matter how strong he was. Facing the man who did that to you…” he shuddered and his eyes closed, his brow lining and he dropped his chin for a moment, blowing out a breath before lifting his head to look at me again, his eyes clear again.

“Tell me,” he whispered.

“Tell you what?”

“What he did.”

I huffed. “I already told you, Donavyn, there’s nothing else—”

“No. Tonight. He left bruises on you.” His teeth clenched for a moment and I felt the jolt of rage shudder through him. “I didn’t know… I’m so sorry I didn’t get there in time. I’m so sorry, Bren. But I was with the king when Kgosi reached me. It took half an hour just to get out of the castle, then I had to harness Kgosi, and we were slowed by having to track you both… then Akhane told us who you’d found, and I was losing my mind. I thought… But it doesn’t matter what I thought. I couldn’t reach you in your mind. I thought I was too far away at first, but even outside the inn, I couldn’t reach you, despite being able to sense you there. You closed me out. And now I see…” He trailed off, his hands slipping down my thighs to my ankle which he took gently in his calloused hands and turned so that the bruise was revealed to the light.