Page 109 of Ashborne: Defiance

Did he refuse to tell the other men about me because he didn’t want them to welcome me?

Or did he just dislike me so much, he was willing to brave discipline to avoid helping me?

I tried to smile as the other men told stories about Bren, and asked me bright, and sometimes silly questions.

I tried to remember anything I could about how Bren and I had met in Fyrehold.

But I kept finding my gaze sliding back to the door, and every time it did, that squeeze in my chest grew tighter.

When they asked me how I’d met Voski, all I could remember was the way he’d looked at me through narrowed eyes. That edge in his tone. The words he snarled.

And then, I realized why he wouldn’t have told the other men about me.

He’d hated me from the first. And now I was being welcomed into his squad? Amongst his friends and brothers—and sister?

No wonder he’d glared at me when Bren pulled me to the table.

“Ignore him.” Bren’s whispered words in my ear startled me. I hadn’t realized I’d been staring at the door again. “He gets like this sometimes. Other days he’s fine. But when he moves on, you’ll see. He’s a good man. I don’t know who shoved a stick up his ass, but one day, he’ll shit it out and then he’ll stop glaring all the time.”

I almost spat out the mouthful of beans I’d thoughtlessly taken as she began to speak. I had to take a drink of water from the thick tumbler one of the men had brought me.

“He doesn’t want me in the squad,” I croaked eventually, keeping my voice under the level of the men, calling to each other and teasing across the table.

“It doesn’t matter. Because I do,” Bren said with a smile. “And the others will too. You watch. He’ll move past it.”

“Do you know why?” I blurted, my chest panging, tugging me toward that door again. “Do you know why he hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you, Grace. He’s unhappy. And Voski just doesn’t want to be around anyone when he’s unhappy.”

“He likes being around you,” I pointed out.

Bren shrugged. “I don’t think he did at the start. But he came around. And he will with you, too. You’ll see.”

She smiled again, but I didn’t miss that as I turned to look at the door again, her smile dropped and she glared at the door as well.

But she also gripped my hand under the table. And though that forced me to swallow back the pinch of tears, for the first time I could remember, I didn’t feel alone in the wake of a man’s rejection.

37. Enough to Make You Sick

~ VOSKI ~

Watching Grace smile as my brothers charmed her sickened my stomach. Knowing that it would never end was devastating. Squad sister?

Even though my stomach hurt so I didn’t want to move, when Ronen instructed me to talk with him, I pushed out of the dining hall doors at his side, tension crawling up my spine.

My stomach roiled. I’d eaten too much, far too quickly, because I was trying to get away before Bren and Grace arrived. Now I wondered if the food might reappear.

The sensation wasn’t helped by my squad leader, growling at me like a disgruntled wolf.

“This is not the way we welcome a new Flameborne—even you, Voski. What the hell has gotten into you?”

“I’m tired. Look, I know I got it wrong in the meeting. You don’t have to—”

“I’m not talking about the meeting, though that was bad enough, now we’re welcoming a new Flameborne, and you’re acting like she stole your dragon!”

“I did not—” When my words echoed over the courtyard outside the dining hall, I caught the words and made myself take a deep breath or two before speaking again, much lower and calmer. “I didn’t act like she stole anything,” I seethed.

“Then you tell me what that was,” Ronen snapped, tipping his head toward the dining hall. “I’ve told you before, Vos, you don’t have to be friends with anyone. But you do have to be civil. I thought we were past this kind of bullshit years ago.”