Page 115 of Ashborne: Defiance

I swallowed, then jumped to clasp a branch overhead, pulling myself up into the tree, toward the trapdoor in the floor of the treehouse.

As the cold, rough bark scraped at my palms, I shook my head, remembering his words.

You impose separation. If you would accept your mate, we would be a force together.

I couldn’t see it. Couldn’t imagine it, even if I’d let myself try.

And yet, here in the dark and cold alone, I also couldn’t deny that those words lit a flame in my chest that did not want to be doused.

I gritted my teeth, unlatched the trapdoor, then pushed up, into the shadows of the treehouse, shoving the heavy wooden square back, inhaling the welcome smell of pine and damp cold.

As I pulled myself into the small space, the familiar comfort of it wrapped around me like a warm blanket and I breathed easier.

My father’s voice echoed in my head, in time with the clomp of my boots on the hollow floor.

“It’s always better to be alone.”

My father hadn’t been right about much. But he was right about that.

No one who spent a night alone ended it in regret.

No one.

39. Rest

~ GRACE ~

I’d barely been alone in the loft for a moment when I heard the heavy footsteps pounding on the stone floor of the stable aisle. Curious—was there an emergency?—I hurried to one of the four, slat walls that surrounded this little space, peering through a thin crack between wooden planks that gave me a view of the aisle below, and the stables on the other side.

My heart leaped as Voski jogged into view, coming to a stop in the doorway just across the aisle—Kham’s stable.

For a moment, he went very still, and I stopped breathing. Was he looking for me? To apologize? I couldn’t decide if that would be wonderful or mortifying. After hearing him tell Ronen how awful it had been to travel with me, I wanted to shrink under a rock. But my stupid heart wouldn’t stop hoping. Every time I saw him, something in me lifted. I didn’t know why. Usually if a man rejected me—even one I’d had an eye for—I was quick to let go of any hope. It seemed pointless to torture myself for someone who didn’t return at least a glimmer of interest.

But no matter how I tried to turn from Voski, to ignore him, something about him drew me back. I was exhausted. Yet, I yearned to fly with him again, circled in his arms, listening to his thoughtful instruction when he’d forgotten he was annoyed, and just shared his skill.

That only reminded me how he’d described that time to Ronen and I felt sick. But if he was here, perhaps he really hadn’t meant it? If he was looking for me, would he come up to the loft? Or just the stable?

Yet, he still didn’t move. It wasn’t until his dragon seemed to react to nothing, I realized they spoke in their minds.

Of course. He’d come to see his dragon. Not me.

Heart sinking, I sighed.

I should have left the crack then, left them to their privacy. But I couldn’t take my eyes off of Voski.

His shoulders were slumped as if he carried a heavy weight. He had a bag slung across his chest—was he leaving the Keep? Had he been called away? My heart chilled with fear at that thought and I flattened a hand against the slats, mentally scrambling for a reason to make him stay. But, that was stupid. He was a Furyknight. If he’d been ordered to a task, he had to do it.

Voski stared at his dragon, who grunted a moment later, rose to his feet and shook like a dog.

Before long, Voski harnessed him, and it was everything I could do not to pound on the wall and demand that he tell me where he was going, and why, and—

I caught myself, mouth open, about to shout, and took a quick, sharp step back so I couldn’t see through the crack anymore.

What was wrong with me? Why did I panic at the idea of his absence? He was a Furyknight. This is what they did. What I would do, if I could pass their tests. If he had a mission, or a patrol—if he’d been punished and now he had to fly to some menial task… it was all a part of his job. A job he took pride in. A job I wanted.

I swallowed. Inching back over to the crack, I watched as Voski quickly, efficiently, closed the last buckles on the harness, then stepped back with a pat to his dragon’s leg, and the two of them left the stable and made their way down the aisle, until they were out of sight.

I blew out a breath, trying to ease the pinch in my chest.