Page 149 of Ashborne: Defiance

He huffed, snorting at me. I entered his stable where I’d left my things, urging him to take the day—as much as Koa was able—and to leave me to myself.

‘Solitude and rest are good for us when they replenish, Voski. But when you use them to avoid—’

‘I’m trying to be considerate to you and your needs, Kham,’ I sent, my jaw clenched because I really didn’t want to be close to them when they started mating again.

Kham rumbled, and though he didn’t follow me into the stable fully, stood in the doorway, extending his neck.

‘We’re in this together.’

I sighed and turned to face him, scratching his nose and nodding. ‘I know. I’m grateful for you, Kham. You know that.’

‘Yet it isn’t only me. Your brothers and sisters—’

‘I know.’

‘—returning to them will bring you joy.

I snorted. I didn’t know about that. But I also knew my dragon would stay here and talk to me as long as he worried I was avoiding anything.

‘I am returning, Kham. Tomorrow evening. Today and tonight I’ll rest, like you said. Tomorrow I’ll return, and my patrols will begin again. We’ll be back to our normal routine. You’ll see.’

I felt the stab of skepticism in him, but let go of his head and turned to put the last of the things I’d gathered in my satchel.

I didn’t like to deceive Kham—and I wasn’t. Not really. I would return tomorrow night. I would be going back to my normal routine with my brothers and sisters.

I just didn’t want to.

‘Voski—’ The caution in my dragon’s tone made my heart tighten. But Koa whistled, and Kham whirled.

‘Go, Kham,’ I urged him as he crooned at his mate, and she danced for him. ‘Pick me up before dinner tomorrow.’

‘I will reach for you—you can tell me if you need me.’

I made myself smile and looked at him out the door. ‘Watching you love your mate is the last thing I need,’ I said dryly. Kham huffed, but Koa squealed and trotted down the aisle toward the doors outside, and to my great relief, he slipped out after her.

I took a seat on the cot I had napped on earlier in the night and took a deep breath.

I was exhausted. Drained. Uneasy. Angry. And very, very glad that my dragon was distracted.

For a moment it was tempting just to lie down and sleep, even knowing things would grow busy in the stable as soon as the sun was fully up. But I shook my head.

I needed the quiet and peace of the clearing, even if it wasn’t quite so restful, knowing Grace could find me out there if she chose to.

Shit.

I rubbed my face and sighed. I needed to wake up, think clearly, and make a plan.

I would bathe quickly—a battle wash, rather than a true bath—because the water of the stream was growing very chilly. Then I’d walk the hour to the solitude. It would do me good to move and breathe the fresh air.

Sending a rush of gratitude and reassurance to Kham through the bond so he wouldn’t be tempted to worry and come find me—with Koa, and possibly Grace in tow—I picked up the pitcher I kept in Kham’s stable for the days I didn’t have time to wash properly. I could have run back to the barracks and washed in warm water, but then I’d be forced to talk to people. Instead, I filled it in one of the buckets that had been drawn by the stableboys earlier. It wouldn’t be as cold as the water outside. Then returned to the little stand and bowl in the corner of Kham’s stable where I left my things.

As I’d done a thousand times, I stripped down and used the pitcher and a cloth to wet and scrub my face and body, letting the dirty water drain down into the stable waste gutter.

The heat in my chest rose—Kham and Koa chasing each other and drawing further away, but their desire rising as they did so. I kept Kham as closed off as possible, and prayed they wouldn’t spend the whole day in each other’s thrall.

The cold water was a good choice for cooling my body’s ardor as the dragons sought each other. I gritted my teeth, muttering curses and insults about Kham that would have made him laugh if he’d been there, but felt good to vent my frustrations. I had a good book back at the treehouse. I’d take the food I gathered. Koa would end up training with Grace most of today—I hoped. Once the dragons were past this, I could rest.

Breathing deep and slow in an attempt to slow my hammering heart, I picked up the towel I used for travel and dried my body, then tied it around my waist. I was half-hard, and if any of my brothers showed up looking for me, I didn’t want to have to answer questions.