Page 185 of Ashborne: Defiance

Until the tavern door bell tinkled again.

We would be found. And if we were found, her life would never be the same.

There was no question. I swept her up, and sank into the shadows with her, and this time she didn’t fight me at all.

She curled up, buried her face in her hands, and my chest, and cried silently.

Because she knew. Whether she meant to or not, she knew.

‘Kham.’

‘What’s wrong? Koa is agitated. Grace has closed off.’

I couldn’t find the words, so I just showed him.

‘I’m coming.’

I had to take a deep, shuddering breath of my own at the wave of relief that almost took my feet out from under me. I always left Kham harnessed when I went into the city. I’d almost chosen not to in case he and Koa flew tonight. Thank God they hadn’t. If he hadn’t been close enough to hear me…

But I couldn’t give in to that fear. I had a purpose. And I wouldn’t deny it again. I had to learn from this—let it remind me. I could never ignore the world. Because the world hid monsters. Not noblewomen with knives at their hips. But real monsters.

And I should never have been so self-consumed that she was forced to rid the world of one.

Kham reached the city walls before I did. The moment we were clear of the city, I didn’t stop running, just turned her in my arms, wrapped her legs around my waist, and whispered at her to hold on.

I carried her up the mounting strap, to his back, while she clung to my neck like a child.

Then we flew.

Koa flew in our wake, darting and weaving, crooning to her. As we flew and planned, Kham reassured me that Koa would comfort her. But I shook my head. I knew.

A dragon could soothe and make their rider safe. But this? Dragons held life sacred. While Kham was far slower than me to take lethal action, he also held that responsibility differently. Where life was taken in defense of himself, or another—like me—it might be grieved as a waste, but the need was never doubted. There was no recrimination. No regret. No questions.

A dragon didn’t kill in battle, then throw up for days after.

Grace needed someone who understood how death blackened your hands.

‘If you appoint yourself her protector, you cannot abandon her when it grows difficult,’ Kham sent carefully as we flew.

I ground my teeth. ‘No one understands that better than me.’

Kham rumbled approvingly, but Grace tightened her grip on me. I held her as tightly as I dared, my heart pounding. Not because of the kill. But because I knew she hadn’t yet broken. She was fighting. Reality. The truth. Trying to deny it. To tell herself it hadn’t happened.

God, help me, I knew that feeling intimately. And what would follow it.

Grace curled into herself as we flew, pressed into me, her body trembling.

‘Kham? The squad, they’ll be worried.’

‘I will inform their dragons, but not of the death. Only that she needed to go home—and you’re escorting her to her quarters so that she might rest safely.’

‘Thank you.’

There was a beat as we began to bank toward the launch hollow and I felt Kham’s ribs expand under us as he gave a heavy sigh, and behind us, Koa crooned to him.

I was afraid to ask, but I should have known he wouldn’t balk.

‘You have what she needs,’ he sent kindly. ‘But if she cannot forgive herself, you mustn’t—’