Page 48 of Graciously His

It’s the first time he’s asked me a direct question about my sexual preferences, and I’m startled into answering honestly: “I hate it.”

His smile reaches his eyes this time. “Nick told me as much.”

Another tear tracks down my cheek. “Why the hell would he tell you that?”

“Because he had no fucking discretion.” He leans in and kisses my cheek almost chastely. “And because the weaker twin always turns to the stronger for guidance. He told me about his problems. How he couldn’t keep it up. How you’d try to get him going with your mouth until you both started hating it. Then he ended up hating all of it, every single bit.” His embrace is comforting, but I feel cold as he continues. “I witnessed it from afar, Grace.”

“Why even ask, if you already knew?” I whisper, wishing I could push him away. “That’s so fucked up, Nate.”

“I know,” he murmurs, nuzzling my neck, “it’s beyond fucked up that you still think everything was your fault. I’m going to show you it wasn’t.”

“What if I don’t want that?” I shift my hips away, trying to create some space between us. “What if I’m too damaged to want any of this?”

“Then it’s my job to make you want it.” He nips at my ear. “But you have to be brave enough to let me try.”

That pisses me off. Nate thinks he can just steamroll through my past, forcing the present into a shape that suits him. And, part of me throbs in shameful arousal, that will include doing things I’ve only ever imagined.

“Maybe I’m not brave enough to let you desecrate every single part of me.”

I squirm, trying to dislodge him. I’m not even close to strong enough to get him off of me and, if I’m honest, I don’t really want to. He catches my wrists and the struggle is over. I could kick him, try and nail him in the balls, but the idea exhausts me. I let myself go quiet, turning my head to one side. He kisses my temple, my hair.

“You,” he murmurs, “can handle everything I’ve got for you, Grace. Let me give you what you’ve needed for so long.”

“You’re not giving,” I whisper, “you’re taking. Whatever you want, you just take it, don’t you?”

Gentle fingers take my chin. I flinch at the lust in his eyes.

“If I take what I really want right now, Grace, you’d break. I’d take your mouth and your ass and your cunt. I’d fuck you raw, then I’d fuck you again. And I want to, so bad,” his voice lowers as his eyes warm, “but I won’t. Because I love you. And that means you’re safe.”

“I don’t feel safe,” I whisper, wondering if it will set him off again.

“I know.” His fingers trail down my belly until he finds my pussy. “And that’s why you’re so very wet.”

My legs open wider, even as my cheeks heat with shame.

“So you’re,” I gasp when he draws a soft circle around my clit, “okay with me not wanting to give you—”

I moan as he increases the pressure.

“We can work on putting my cock in your mouth, if you want to reclaim that. It’s not important right now. Right now, I need to see how receptive you are to new things, because something tells me this will be the perfect way to handle you when you’re fertile.”

He sits up, kneeling between my legs, his fingers still toying with my clit. Feeling exposed, I try to close my legs.

“Nate, I—I don’t think I can do that.”

He tilts his head to the side, almost comically. “What, exactly?”

His hand slips from between my legs and I let out a sigh of relief. I can think again.

“I can’t take you back—back there.”

“Say what you mean, Grace.”

I glower but he simply smiles.

“I can’t handle anal sex, Nate. And I don’t want you to just force it when I’m fertile.”

He regards me for a moment, stroking a hand languidly down my belly then back up again. It feels good, calming.