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Roz shrugged. “I don’t know. I won’t lie to you. You know what I am. Over the past seven centuries I’ve had thousands of women. I’ve kissed them and fucked them and left them begging for more. I love women, Menolly,” he said softly. “All types of women. Tall, short, thin, fat, young, old . . . it doesn’t matter. I crave them. That’s what I am. That’s who I am. I have no choice; this is my nature. The only kind of women that I don’t find attractive are those who are timid, who wait for a man to make them feel whole.”
“I know. Just like . . . this is my nature.” I opened my mouth slightly and willed my fangs to unfurl. He watched, unafraid, unmoving. “I drink blood. I charm and seduce my way into feeding on my dinner. Vanzir was right; all demons are takers, aren’t they?”
“But we also give,” Roz said, and then he was standing only a few inches away, his breath soft against my skin. “Let me give to you. And you . . . I want you to give yourself to me. Let’s find out where this takes us?”
I nodded, then. He wrapped me in his arms, lifting me up, and my lips were fastened on his. I retracted my fangs and fully kissed him, my tongue sliding into his mouth as he pressed against me, his cock a rigid soldier. Roz lowered me to the ground, and the world blurred.
He darted across my body with his lips, butterfly kissing me as he swung around, lowering himself to let me fasten my mouth around him. I sucked deeply, the shaft of flesh sliding in and out between my lips, the taste of salt lingering in my mouth. As he moaned, a surge of power raced through me, and I licked harder, teasing the tip of his penis with my tongue as he forced himself to keep a steady pace.
Roz kissed my stomach, my chest, my nipples, between my thighs, his tongue cajoling me to fly. He was so different from Nerissa—not better, not worse—just different.
With a quick turn, he was suddenly above me, hands on my waist, flipping me over as he rolled beneath me. I climbed atop him, clasping his hands in my own to balance myself.
“Menolly,” he whispered. “Ride me—ride me hard.”
And so I did, my hips grinding down on him, as he thrust up to meet my descent. In silence, he bucked, raising me up, and I let my constant control slip away. I couldn’t hurt him the way I could Nerissa—at least, not nearly so easily. My fangs stayed safely put. I closed my eyes as we rocked on the floor, my knees scraping the rug. And then, we were there—poised, ready for flight, and I realized that whatever else might be true, Rozurial and I were well-matched.
I shook away the thought and let myself slide, and the slide became a cascade, which became a raging river that raced to the edge, tumbling into the chasm. And for once, I let the current claim me without a fight.
CHAPTER 21
I shot to a sitting position, suddenly waking to sunset as the realization that someone was in the room with me filtered into my thoughts. Her heartbeat echoed with the continual pulse of the blood in her veins. Every scent was heightened, her pheromones, her passion, the scent of the hamburger she’d had for lunch. A ravenous thirst welled up in my throat, and the craving for blood swirled in my thoughts. I wanted to chase, to hunt, to—
“Hey, you’re awake.” Camille was sitting in the corner, reading the paper. She flashed me a big smile as I shook myself out of my thoughts and forced myself to take a long breath, holding it for five beats as I slowly settled into myself. She must have heard me, because she said, “Thirsty? I’m sorry—I didn’t know when you last drank, or I wouldn’t have waited for you.”
As I brought myself under control, I gave her a wan smile in return. “I should have had a drink before I slept this morning. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” I smiled. I’d been so occupied with Rozurial, I’d forgotten to take a drink before sleeping—something I always tried to remember. Because what had happened years before might just happen again if I wasn’t careful.
A year after the OIA helped me regain my sanity, they decided that I’d developed enough self-control and allowed me to return home to live. Father wasn’t pleased, but he’d allowed it. Where Delilah and he tiptoed around me, Camille accepted me back like nothing had happened. Or rather, like something had happened, but it was time to move on.
When I first returned home, none of us were used to all of the changes that were happening to me. Transitioning into a vampire takes time. Oh, the initial change is fairly quick, but learning the ropes can take years, especially when your sire’s kicked you out into the world on your own.
One evening, Camille came in to see if I was up yet. She was standing right near the bed as I woke, thirsty and longing for the taste of blood in my mouth, and in my passion and thirst for blood, I didn’t recognize her.
I grabbed her arm, dragging her toward me, raking the snowy white skin with my nails. As she screamed, I lowered myself to her wounds and began to suck hard, lapping at the sweet and salty taste of her life force.
“Menolly! Menolly!”
All it had taken were two cries to pull me out of my trance. The sight of her, bleeding and terror-stricken, stopped me short. Camille had saved me from killing the family. Camille had done her best to make me feel like part of the family still. And now, Camille was in my grasp, long gashes ragged and red on her arm and my chin was wet with her blood.
I dropped her wrist and slowly scooted back, cowering on my bed.
“Stake me. Just stake me now, before I hurt one of you.” The smell of her blood was still calling me, but I pushed it away.
She wouldn’t listen. “No. You can learn control. And I should have known better,” she said, crossing the room to wrap a linen towel around her wounds. “Next time, I won’t stand close enough for you to grab. How long do you need when you wake up?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked dully.
“How long do you need before you remember where you are?”
I thought about it, eyeing her closely. She looked nervous but not repulsed. And her expression told me she still loved me. “I don’t know. A couple minutes. But I can’t jump out of bed immediately. By the time I can stand up, I know where I am.”
“So if I stay across the room, by the time you can get out of bed, you’ll know it’s me,” she said as if it was all settled. “I’ll tell everyone that the OIA let us know this would be safest. That way we don’t have to explain how we found out.”
I tried to protest, but she waved me off.
And from then on, nobody ever stood next to my bed when I was due to wake. And I’d never hurt anyone I loved again.
Camille still bore the scars from where I’d ripped her forearm, but she never used them against me. She told Father that she got them on the fence he erected to keep the deer out of the garden. The fence came down the next day. Delilah knew better, but Camille threatened to take away her catnip if she said anything. And to this day, Father still didn’t know that I’d attacked Camille.
