Page 42 of About the Green

She's hurting, and I don't know exactly who to blame or if there even is someone to blame, but all I know is that everything happening between us is not happening at the right time.

There's too much on the line for this.

Does she realize how much is on the line?

After only maybe three hours of my own sleep, I feel Nina wake.

It’s not a peaceful wake-up call for me.

She's out of the bed, scrambling away, unsure of where she's at or what she's doing. She looks down at my shirt that swallows her small frame and panics even more.

It's still dark outside and even darker inside the room, with the curtains drawn and no lights on, and it only takes a second before her pained whimper rings around the room.

I'm up immediately, grabbing her in a bear hug, trying to remain careful of her side. She kicks and tries to fight me again, just as much strength as she had the first time when I grabbed her to put her in the—

“Nina?” I hug her tighter. "Nina. Nina, doll, you need to calm down."

She freezes, her body going completely still. "Vert?" she asks tentatively in a voice that's too low for me to recognize as being her own.

"Yea, it's me, baby. Calm down."

She shakes her head, her hair whipping me in the face and clueing me in on just how much she's panicking right now.

"Nina, you have to calm down. You're gonna have a fuckin’ panic attack. Just breathe. Breathe, baby. Do you remember how to do that?"

"No, no," she says. "No, I don't remember. Please, just let me go. Let me go, please." She's pleading with me again, and this time it's not the desperate question fueled by arousal and desire, but instead one driven completely by fear, and I don't understand why.

"Nina—"

"No," she says, finally kicking me in the shin hard enough to get my grip to loosen on her, and she immediately scrambles for the nearest doorway.

Her eyes must have adjusted to the darkness. She immediately turns on the light and starts scrambling around, looking for her belongings. At least she remembers having them here, but I don't understand this reaction.

Fuck. I don’t understand. She was deep, but does she not remember what happened yesterday? "Nina, I need you to calm down." I sound like a broken record but I don’t know what will get her to stop moving around the room like everything is on fire.

Her eyes meet mind for only a moment before she’s back to look for what I know are shoes. “I’ll be calm when I get out of here. I need to get back to my place."

She fastens the clasp before I reach for her arm now, forcing her to stop her efforts. “And I'll take you. Have no problem takin’ you, but can you just stop runnin’ around right now?"

"No," she says, the broken tone making something in my chest hurt.

Why is she— What did I do wrong?

"I just... I need to go. Can you please take me home?"

With as much of her belongings as she can find, clutched in her hands, including her shredded pink plaid clothes from yesterday, I help her find the rest and throw on some clothes to get into my rental. Thankfully, I had the wits to have it cleaned out last night after I picked her up, so she doesn't have to sit back in her muddy seat.

As I open the door for her to get into the passenger seat, she pointedly isn't sitting back. She puts on her seat belt, still remaining alert and looking around.

When I sit into the driver's seat next to her, I ask, "Are you sure this is what you want to do? I really think you should just lay down. You shouldn't be alone right now."

She doesn't respond to me, instead telling me her address like I haven't already been there before, like I don't already know how to get there.

That's the end of that conversation, and I can't make her do something she doesn't want to do. Some time is clearly necessary but I don’t know if there is a bomb sitting in my passenger seat or not.

I take my time going as slow as I can so that her injury isn’t agitated more but also so I can figure out exactly what I’m going to say to her.

"Could we talk about it?" I settle on when we're about halfway to her apartment. It being us finally fucking and how she is a secret submissive. A submissive with experience. The sex was good. Great. Better than great, I can’t fucking lie. I’d be stupid to think that anything has topped what it was like to be with Nina Wilcox. But I’d also be stupid to ignore more red flags when it comes to this woman. She’s crafted the person she displays and it must be for a reason more than a simple rejection in your past. I have so much more that I want to know, but I can’t let her know any of that right now.