Page 59 of Slick Trip

“The only person you what?”

I dragged a hand through my hair. “Forget it.”

“No,” he said immediately. “You don’t get to push me to talk and then back out.”

A humorless laugh slipped out. “Welcome to how that felt.”

That landed. Silence stretched between us.

“What can I say, Jon?” he said, staring at the pastry. “Yes, you hurt me. Every time you pretended you didn’t have feelings for me. And then you hurt me the worst when I thought you were going to kiss me, but you basically said it was all in my head. Remember that?”

His voice wasn’t sharp, but it pierced my heart anyway.

“I wanted you too much,” I said quietly. “And you trusted me so blindly. Like I was someone safe.”

“You are safe.”

I shook my head. “The second I stopped resisting you, I hurt you.”

He met my stare, looking frustrated.

“I. Said. Green.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

“It does. That’s how the colors work.” Angrily, he tore off another piece of the croissant. “I’ve never needed protection from you.”

“You just admitted I hurt you.”

“But not in the way you mean it! You seem to think you’re dangerous somehow, but you aren’t, not to me. I know some people find you intimidating, but I’m not some people. I’ve never been scared of you, and I never will be.”

“You ran from me!”

He went still.

“I didn’t run from you—” He swallowed. “I ran from your pity. From your . . . disgust.” The last word was a whisper.

I stared at him, aghast.

“What? Coop, no. I’ve never pitied you. And trust me, I’ve felt many things around you, and they haven’t always been positive, but disgust is not on the list. I thought I’d traumatized you.”

“Huh.”

“Huh indeed.”

Cooper bit his lip. “So when people say communication is the key, they sort of . . . know what they’re talking about?”

“Seems that way.”

“Well, our strategy worked too.”

“I wouldn’t call this last year a strategy, but yeah, it worked out just fine in the end.”

“So, what now?”

I looked at Cooper as seriously as he was looking at me. The truth was, I had no idea. I didn’t know how to be someone’s safe place. No one had ever taught me that. People were something to survive, not love. But for Cooper, I’d figure it all out. Even if I had to build the whole damn thing from scratch.

“We learn to do this together. And before you come and pinch me, by ‘this’ I mean the romantic relationship we’re in as a couple, and yes, I’m very fucking devoted to you.”