Page 4 of A Foolish Endeavor

“What did you like the best?”

“I enjoyed mathematics very much, but then, I always have. Numbers make sense to me in a way words never have. I found it so difficult to concentrate on some of my subjects.”

“Oh? What did you find challenging?”

“Theology, for one. Truly, if it had not been for the help I got from my one good friend there, I should have badly failed Latin.”

Nancy halted her steps to study Gilbert a moment. “Oh, my—that is a problem. Aren’t you expected to join the church, after all? I believe that is what they all say in Doddington.”

“The church.” Gilbert sighed heavily. “Yes, that is the expectation, but I am, in truth, dreading it. That is why I ran away from my family as soon as I arrived today, you see. I was so afraid they were going to set me down and tell me the plan for my life right then and there. I declare, Nancy, I should have run screaming from the room had that been the case, so I bolted for a walk with the excuse of needing the exercise.”

They walked in silence a while before Gilbert spoke again. “May I confess something, Nancy? The simple fact is—I have neither desire nor inclination to become a pastor. Oughtn’t one feel a strong longing to serve God to take orders? Or to at least serve one’s parishioners? I feel naught of either requirement. While I am aware that, should I one day become a full rector with my own parish, I could hire a curate to do most of the work and live a life of ease, as many a rector has done before me. However, such a plan does not appeal, either. I should feel bored and useless.”

She nodded, silent, but with a serious expression on her face. The two continued walking.

“Then, will it be the military for you?” Nancy finally asked. “I think you would look lovely in regimentals, if you’ll forgive my boldness.” She gave an impish grin.

“That is a fate even worse than the church, to my mind. Spend hours marching about and firing guns? Even worse, go to battle against Napoleon? No, thank you. And the Navy holds no appeal to me either, for I should be sea-sick at all times.” He sighed and turned to sit on the stone wall by the road, shaking his head, a miserable expression upon his face.

Nancy sat beside him, considering his words. “Well, then. Not the church and not the military. What will you do, Gilbert? You must find some purpose—some profession. I do not think your family will allow you to be idle. Besides, how would you live?”

“I do not know. Oh, why wasn’t I the son born first? I should make an excellent estate owner and enjoy such a life very well, indeed. Miles has a better temperament for the military, or even the church, come to that. But only because he was born before me, he gets the land and all the money and I get nothing. It’s so unfair.”

“Did your mother not leave any inheritance for you?”

“A modest sum that I can claim when I turn four and twenty this summer. But it is surely not enough to allow me to live the life I desire. Nothing like what Miles will have when he inherits Clayton House.” His tone was bitter.

Nancy nodded in understanding. “It is hard for second sons, ’tis true. But you must do something, Gilbert.” When he remained silent, she grinned and said, “Perhaps your father might supplement your mother’s money and give you enough of an allowance to enjoy yourself in town. You could spend your time gambling and drinking until you lose both your looks and your health—now that would be a fine career for you.” She punched him playfully in the arm.

Gilbert gave her a small smile. “You always have loved to tease me, Nancy, but I am in too sour a disposition at present to respond in kind. Let us speak of something else. How is your father?”

“I thank you for asking. He is very well. Oh, you have been gone so long that I do not think you know that he has recently acquired a new business in Doddington.”

Gilbert perked up at this bit of news. “Really?”

“Yes, he bought the tea shop from old Mrs. Wilbury. She was just getting too old to manage it, and, after her husband died, she decided to move into Norfolk to be closer to her daughter. Papa thought it a good opportunity, so he bought it and has already been making improvements. He has purchased new chairs and tables and renamed it. It is now called Franny’s Tea and Coffee, after my grandmother Francis. Papa has hired a new baker, too. You must come taste the pastries—I’ll warrant you have none better at Clayton House.”

“Mrs. Wilbury’s place could use a new one. I declare the last time I had a scone there, I nearly broke a tooth.” They both laughed. “How many businesses does this make for your father? He is certainly busy. I do not know how he manages.”

“It is our fourth, plus he has part ownership in the Black Crow Inn. Susan Margory was saying to me just the other day that it is a good thing my father is so well off, that I was able to waste his money on my Season in town to no good end.” She shrugged. “I came home unwed, still, you see, much to the dismay of my father, and I shall not have another.”

“That was poorly spoken—how rude of Susan. Likely she is only jealous that her father cannot afford to send her to town for a Season, despite being a gentleman. But I did not know you had gone to town.” He leaned closer, an impish expression on his face. “Tell me, Nancy, did you enjoy your Season? Was it not enjoyable to dance and tease handsome young gentlemen?”

“Oh… you well know I am no flirt, Gilbert. I can speak and joke easily with you, but I do not possess the ability to do so with those with whom I am not well acquainted. I find such banter quite banal and useless. I did enjoy the dancing, when I was asked, which was not that often, to own it.”

“I have danced with you at local assemblies and know you to be a wonderful partner. It is entirely the loss of the gentlemen in town, if you ask me.”

Nancy turned away to study her boots intently. “You flatter me, Gilbert,” she said softly. “My poor maiden aunt in town did her best for me. She even added three hundred pounds to my dowry from Papa to generate more interest, but I fear I was a lost cause—I am not a gentleman’s daughter and, therefore, am of little or no consequence to the gentlemen of the ton. There were no callers, there were no offers, no grand flirtations and, so, I came home no different than when I had left, aside from obtaining a few new dresses.” She wrinkled her nose and gave him a bit of a smile. “So. It is clear that I am doomed to be set on the shelf. I shall likely end up running Papa’s tea shop until I am as ancient and decrepit as Mrs. Wilbury, and that shall be my lot. It could be worse, of course. So, I am not so downhearted, and I forbid you to feel sorry for me,” she said, wagging a finger at Gilbert. “I seek no pity, I assure you, for my bleak future.”

“On the shelf? Never! You are far too kind and pretty, Nancy, to suffer such a fate. I am certain there is some young man in the village who will want to make you his wife.”

Nancy stared at Gilbert intently. Her hazel eyes seemed to reach deeply into him. What was he seeing in them? He could not perceive her thoughts behind her countenance. Then, she hopped off the wall, saying only, “Perhaps.” She took a deep breath, then strode away, calling back, “Come. I shall buy you a cup of tea or chocolate at Franny’s, if you like. And then, I shall divulge all the village gossip.”

His mood lightened somewhat, he hurried after her.

Chapter Four

For the next few days, Gilbert managed to avoid speaking of his schooling or non-existent plans for the future. Fortunately, he had some assistance in this. Due to some issues arising on the estate’s tenant farms, both Evan and Miles spent many hours away from the manor, which gave Gilbert much needed time alone. At dinner, he regaled the family with amusing stories about his time at University, without divulging any pertinent details about his success or failure. Then he would adroitly change the subject to some other topic, or ask Lavinia how little Dickie was doing—that was always good for a quarter hour of monologue, he had learned. The one time his father attempted to pin him down on his future plans, Gilbert had managed to feign stomach issues and retreated to his room to take a long nap.