Page 51 of A Foolish Endeavor

That evening, Gilbert dressed with care, which included wearing one of the three new waistcoats he had made to order while in London. He had his father’s valet tie his cravat, instructing him to do it in the most fashionable manner of London gentlemen. It took three attempts, but, finally, Gilbert was satisfied and went downstairs to dinner looking the very least like a member of the clergy as he could.

Conversation at the dinner was lively and comfortable. Miles and Lavinia seemed in high spirits, sharing stories of the children’s fair, and how well attended it was.

“Little Dickie is far too young to understand much of what he saw, but I do believe he enjoyed the fine weather, do you not agree, Miles?” Lavinia asked.

“Oh, indeed, and many families came up to admire him and greet us,” Miles said. “I do wish you had joined us, Father, for you were asked after by many.”

“Well, I had to remain behind to welcome your sister and brother, Miles. I am, however, exceedingly happy that you were seen together by all—such a public display of family harmony can only be well received by the community.”

Gilbert thought Evan’s tone sounded a bit terse and assumed his statement contained a veiled reference to the incident with the disreputable female Miles had allegedly consorted with. He saw Lavinia react by lowering her eyes and biting her lower lip. Then, he saw Miles reach for his wife’s hand, squeeze it, and the two shared a loving gaze.

Well, the issue must be resolved, as Lavinia and Miles seem no different together than when I last saw them. That is good news, at least.

When dinner was complete, Charlotte, Dorothea, and Lavinia left for the drawing room, while Miles, Gilbert, and their father remained behind. Port wine was poured, and the gentlemen sat more comfortably in silence, enjoying their drinks. Gilbert nearly had to remind himself to breathe, he was so worried that the subject of his future would arise. It did not, however, and Gilbert relaxed somewhat as they left the dining room to join the ladies, until his father called him back. He immediately felt his heart begin to pound in his chest.

“Yes, Father?” he tried to sound as if he had no cares.

“I did not wish to bring up the situation between your brother and the tavern maid while Miles was here, but in the event you were anxious over it, put your mind at ease. I have not heard fully from your brother as to the particulars, but it appears the breach between him and Lavinia has been healed.”

Gilbert heard himself exhale loudly. “That is most excellent news, Father. Excellent, indeed,” he said. He started to walk away, but was called back.

“Tomorrow, you and I shall meet to discuss your next steps. I know that Frederick is most eager to get you started as his curate. And I am no less eager to see you happily settled in your new profession. I certainly look forward to your first sermon.” He clapped his son on the back, and the two moved out of the dining room. “Come to my study at ten o’clock.”

“Thank you, Father,” Gilbert replied in a weak voice. “I shall be there.”

Chapter Forty

Promptly at ten o’clock the following morning, Gilbert presented himself at his father’s bookroom, his heart thudding in his chest. He had been so anxious for this meeting—had dreaded it for so long—that he found he had no appetite that morning and had gone for a long walk rather than join his father and brother at the breakfast table. He knocked, and, hearing Evan’s call to come in, entered the cozy room with its dark furniture, many bookshelves, and the familiar portrait of his mother over the mantel. Gilbert took a seat across from his father, gripping his hands tightly in his lap. The moment he had been avoiding since returning from Oxford those few months ago was at hand. He looked at his father, who was smiling warmly at him.

“Well, my son—at last you have returned from your well-deserved time in town. Dorothea tells me that you were very popular among the ton—indeed, I was somewhat surprised to learn that you very nearly became engaged. Of course, that would have been foolish, indeed, unless, of course, she was a wealthy heiress?” Evan laughed heartily. “Then again, perhaps your sister is merely exaggerating.”

“Oh, yes, well—I did become quite fond of one or two young ladies during my time in town, Father, but, no, I did not manage to find a rich heiress who wished to become my wife,” Gilbert said, surprised at the sting of pain that hit him as he spoke his words. He still felt anger over how Miss Wells had used him, but confessing that foolish enterprise to his father was the last thing Gilbert wished to do just now.

There was a pause, as Evan continued to look at his son, as if waiting to hear more about Gilbert’s time in town, but when Gilbert said nothing, Evan cleared his throat and spoke.

“As you know, son, it has long been expected that you would enter the church upon completion of your education—indeed, that was your stated goal when you went off to Oxford, since you claimed no desire to enter the military. While we were all happy to postpone your duties and give you a short time to enjoy the pleasures of the Season with your University friend, it really has become most pressing for you to take some of the burden off of your brother-in-law. Frederick has his hands full with two parishes, and you must step in to assist. So, now that you are returned, you must write to your professors for their recommendations to present to the bishop. Then, you must set up your examination by the bishop, and within a very short time you will be able to take your orders and get to work.”

Gilbert just sat, staring at his feet, silent and morose. After a moment, he heard his father say, “Well? Why do you not say anything? Or, do you have the letters in hand? Did you already write to your professors?”

“I… I fear there would be little use in that, Father,” Gilbert said in a low voice.

“I do not have the pleasure of understanding you. What is your meaning, Gilbert—why would it be of no use?”

Gilbert released a long, shuddering breath and said, “Because I did not complete my examinations. I failed to take any of my final exams and, therefore, I did not, in fact, obtain my degree.”

“Did I hear you correctly? You came home before completing your studies?”

Gilbert nodded, his face showing his misery. “I know I should have told you all this when I first returned, Father, I am so very sorry to have kept it from everyone. I just… I was so very bored with my studies and could not muster the enthusiasm for attending many lectures. I knew that taking my examinations would result in only failure for most of my classes. So, I packed my bags and came home.”

Evan drummed his fingers on the top of his mahogany desk for a long time. Finally, he said, “I hardly know what to say. I am extremely disappointed in you, Gilbert, not only because you failed to complete your studies, but because you hid all this from me and went off to enjoy the Season in London. You led us all to believe you would return and become Frederick’s curate.”

“My behavior was unforgivable, I know, Father,” Gilbert said softly.

“Well, perhaps you can write to your professors and ask them to allow you to take the exams in the fall. That will delay your helping Frederick by a considerable amount of time, but it will also give you the rest of the summer to study to ensure you will pass your exams. If all goes well, you might still take your orders by October.”

“The point of the matter is… I do not wish to take orders, Father,” Gilbert said.

“What? Are you quite out of your senses?” Evan’s voice began to rise and his tone became angry. “Do you have any idea of how lucky you are to even have a curate opening waiting for you? The income is not large, but you would continue to live at Clayton House until you obtained your own living somewhere. It would have been a very satisfactory life. Let me assure you, there are dozens, if not hundreds, of newly ordained curates who would be beyond grateful for the position being held open for you!”