Page 30 of Ruined

I pull back. “Too hard?”

“A little.”

“It’s good that you told me.” I make sure to be gentle the next time I go over that spot, and Oliver relaxes and sighs, surrendering to my touch.

Needing some relief for my thighs, I drop my hips, connecting my crotch with his ass. Big mistake.

The moment our bodies meet, my dick wakes up, and Oliver lets out a quiet moan. I keep massaging his back and his shoulders, but he rolls his hips in a way he didn’t before. I inhale a sharp breath, highly aware of the wrongness of the situation, wanting to stop but at the same time wanting to finish the massage and make him feel good.

I press my fingertips into his shoulder blades, and he moans and rolls his hips, his ass stimulating my cock and making it fully hard in no time. I’m pretty sure it’s deliberate, and I know I should stop, but the heat of his body and the little noises he’s making call to me in a way that’s impossible to pull away from.

Acting on pure instinct, I press my crotch harder against his ass. God, I know I shouldn’t. But it feels too good to stop, and we’re still wearing clothes, and I’m just giving him a massage, damn it.

Oliver moans underneath me, rolling his hips to meet mine, and I squeeze his shoulders harder than before, losing control of my strength, of what I’m doing, and of what this means.

“Wait.” Oliver stiffens. “Stop.”

I pull back right away, as if he burned me. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s just… I almost…” His cheeks are bright red as he turns his head and gazes up at me.

My mind fills in the blanks, and fuck, does he mean what I think he means? Was he really about to come? I didn’t even touch him. God, the wrongness of what we did makes me want to crawl out of my own skin, but at the same time, I’m so hard it hurts, and I suppose Oliver is, too, given he was about to… Fuck.

I need to get away. Now. Escaping to the bathroom, I splash some cold water on my face, willing my dick to stop aching and my mind to stop imagining that massage going in a different direction. A direction not involving clothes. A direction so wrong I can barely stand to think about it.

Gripping the sink and squeezing my eyes shut, I force myself to go through all the reasons why I can’t go back out there and do what I want to do. I think about betrayal, about Kim, his mom. I think about the fact that he used to be my stepson, and I can’t just erase that from my mind.

Despite our history, though, it seems like touches between us can no longer be innocent, and what happens if I stop holding back? If my control snaps, what will I become?

A creep who fucks his own stepson… or a daddy who gives his boy what he needs?

I don’t know the answer, and until I do, I can’t allow this to escalate more than it already has. I can’t risk hurting him. Being with me… God, he shouldn’t be with me. I’m too old, and the memories we share are not memories that should be tainted.

I’m supposed to be his father figure; a friend he can lean on, that’s all, and if he loves me for that, it’s a blessing I hardly deserve. But that’s it. Why is it getting harder and harder to convince myself to stay away?

It’s because he wants you, says that voice in my head I’ve tried to ignore. He needs you. He needs a daddy.

That might be true, but he can’t want me. Anyone else who’d treat him well, but not me. Although… when I picture someone else rutting with him on the couch—another older man—my stomach turns. I don’t trust anyone else not to hurt him, but why does it have to be me he wants?

Eventually, I’ve cooled down enough that I allow myself to leave the bathroom. I expect Oliver to be on the couch where I left him, but he’s putting his shoes on in the hallway.

“Where are you going?” My voice comes out dry and rough.

“Home.”

“Why?”

“You don’t want me here, anyway.”

“Who told you that?”

He bites his lip. “Sorry about earlier. I know you don’t…” He frowns deeply, and his lip quivers. “I know you don’t want me.”

“It’s not that, Oliver. I just don’t want to hurt you.”

“You wouldn’t.” How can he sound so sure?

He’s young—that’s why. Too young, and you can’t have him.