Page 143 of The Gaybor War

When he comes back, It’s dangling between my fingers, catching the light.

His brows lift. "Oh?"

"Borrowed."

His smile is slow, warm, and a little stunned. "Fair’s fair, Captain Regulation."

"I’m not putting it front and center."

"Coward."

But later, when I hang it on my tree, I place it just high enough to catch the light. Where I’ll see it every morning.

Chapter 33

Ithought we were on the same team.

That is the exact thought running through my head as I step onto my porch the next morning, travel mug in hand, messenger bag slung over my shoulder, and brain still foggy with sleep.

I make it three steps before I stop, blink once, twice, and then just stand there, staring at my front yard as if I’ve stumbled into an alternate reality curated by a drunk mall Santa. Because standing proudly in the middle of my meticulously landscaped lawn are two inflatable reindeer.

The thing is, they’re not grazing or prancing or pulling Santa’s sleigh like reindeer do.

No.

They are humping.

Full pelvic alignment. Strategic positioning. One reindeer mounted atop the other in a way that leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. Their vacant eyes stare into the distance as if daring God himself—or Eunice—to intervene.

My jaw drops.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me."

Across the street, Benji’s front door opens. He steps out onto his porch in fuzzy pajama pants, an oversized hoodie, and zero shame, coffee mug in hand. He takes one look at my yard and beams like a proud parent at a preschool talent show.

"Good morning, neighbor!"

"You vandalized my lawn."

"I enhanced your lawn."

"With fornicating livestock."

"They’re in love."

"They’re inflatable sex offenders. How could you?"

Benji lifts his mug in a lazy toast. "All bets are off, Carter. You started this when you out-shined my flamingo nativity scene."

"I thought we were on the same team!"

His grin is slow and wicked. "Every man for himself. There can only be one winner."

I drag a hand down my face, fighting a laugh and a homicidal urge in equal measure.

"You realize this means war."

"Already ahead of you."