Page 75 of The Gaybor War

"That’s what we intend to find out," Candace says sweetly, eyeing me with a prosecutor’s scrutiny.

"What makes you think I got laid?"

"Your shirt is buttoned all the way to the collar," Kiki points out.

"And you’re only on your second mimosa," Malia adds. "When you’re usually on your fourth by now."

"Wow," I mutter. "A couple of Sherlocks at this table."

Shania shares a smug look with her cohorts. "You know we’re right."

"Because my shirt is buttoned?"

"Because you’re not as thirsty," Shania continues.

"Because you’ve already had some," Candace finishes.

"You’re ridiculous," I snort, taking another sip.

"No," Malia says calmly. "We’re correct. Who was he?"

I roll my eyes. My defensive pettiness wants to point out that Shania’s teased hair is sitting a half inch higher than usual, which is a bit much for ten a.m., but I wisely keep my mouth shut.

"You don’t see me asking you to describe the sex you’re having with your husbands, do you?"

They burst into laughter.

"If we were having sex that good," Kiki says cheerfully, "we would absolutely tell you."

"Ew. Gross. And you didn’t get that gaggle of children by immaculate conception, Virgin Mary."

Kiki’s unplucked brow arches. "We’re waiting, Benji."

"Fine," I concede, drawing out the word. "I didn’t get laid. But I did engage in a steamy kiss the night before last."

They squeal. Actual foot-kicking occurs.

"And," I add, because I live for drama, "the night before that."

"With who?" Candace demands.

"A lady doesn’t kiss and tell."

Shania barks out a laugh. "You’re no lady, and it has nothing to do with the equipment."

"Rude."

"It matters who," Malia insists.

"It doesn’t. What matters is there’s a very good chance it will happen again. Possibly tonight." I wiggle my eyebrows. "And if I catch any of you meddling, spying, or lurking near my windows, I will hit you with an HOA fine so severe your husbands will never financially recover. Understood?"

They just laugh.

"We don’t need to spy through your window," Candace singsongs, topknot wobbling precariously. "We just have to be busy in the front yard when he leaves."

I blow out a breath. "What is this, Days of Our Lives? You ladies need hobbies."

Shania eyes me triumphantly. "We learned from the best."