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Nervously, I looked around, wondering what was going to happen. The lights dimmed, and the room took on a faint glow around the bench, but everything else fel away, bathed in darkness. I sucked in a deep breath and waited.
A scuttling caught my attention, and I jumped but, remembering Greta's admonishment to stay seated, I forced myself to remain in place. The sound creeped me out; it was the sound of feet skittering around the room. A shadow here, a sudden movement there, and I thought for sure that I saw a jointed leg stretch out from the darkness.
Hell. Werespiders again? I flashed back to the werespiders we'd fought a year before. Kyoka and his hobo spiderlings. Could they real y be here? As the noises came nearer, I thought for sure I could hear breathing behind me, and I began to shiver, every hair on my body standing at attention as the rasping grew louder.
Crap. Every instinct screamed, Move, fool! But if I moved, would I die? Was this a test of skil ? Of strength? Or of obeying the rules? Breath catching in my throat, I poised to leap the minute anything go too close.
Remain calm. Do not move; do not run. Fear is your worst enemy. Fear can annihilate you.
The words echoed in my head, but it wasn't my voice. Once again, I sensed Hi'ran, and yet the voice was smoother than his, like honey, calming and sweet.
I sat on my hands, trying not to cry, trying not to notice the darkness that was narrowing in on me. The circle of light surrounding the bench was growing smal er, the faint glow fading. Something brushed one shoulder, and I jerked around but saw nothing. A tap on my other shoulder, and I lurched to my right.
But there was no one there. Nothing to fight, nothing to see.
Breathe in slowly, then exhale. Close your eyes. Reach out with your senses.
Again, the calming voice, steady and deep, smooth silk and honey on my frayed nerves. I obeyed, breathing slowly. One breath at a time. Deliberate, focused, trying to push beyond the fear.
The movements hastened around me, and I pul ed my legs off the floor, tucking them beneath me on the bench, wanting nothing more than to shift, to turn into Panther and tackle whatever enemy waited in the darkness. The sound of a thousand scurrying insects rustling against the floorboards taunted, both terrifying me and luring me in.
Listen to me. Reach beyond the fear, move past your gut reaction. Step over the fear with your mind, and don't be afraid to go into the darkness.
Follow my voice; follow the cadence of my words, the trail of my thoughts.
His voice became a thread, and I fol owed. And when the words stopped, the energy remained, and I could suddenly see the signature. So often I'd heard Camil e describe doing just this, and I never understood what she was talking about until now. But his voice left a trail of frost, a trail of sparkles, and I hurried after them, journeying with my mind, keeping my body stil , forcing myself not to transform, not to shift.
Now, imagine a light, a brilliant light coming from within you. A light that clears away the fog and dust and cobwebs.
I focused on creating a light--on turning on a switch somewhere inside. At first, nothing happened, so I tried harder, urging the light from out of my stomach. Memories of Chase and loneliness immediately rushed through me, and I felt like I was floundering.
Let him go. Let him be what he is now. Walk through the loss and leave it behind. What ties you to the pain?
Thoughts raced through my mind, but a clear voice, from somewhere deep inside, whispered, "I'm afraid of not mattering to anyone." And as soon as I heard it, I recognized the little girl who missed her mother, who always felt more at home with animals than people, who felt like she blended into the background.
That's not me anymore, I thought. I left her behind a long time ago, but I've been carrying her baggage. Memories of childhood--of taunts and feeling inferior--passed by, screaming Windwalker! Windwalker! at me. The ring of children trying to goad me into shifting into Tabby, the snide looks of our relatives . . .
You are no longer the frightened little girl. You are a strong, capable woman. The rich, velvet voice washed over me, and I knew he spoke the truth.
Smiling, I pushed the memories aside like cobwebs. They were meaningless now. I'd conquered my childhood shyness.
As soon as I let go of that fear, the haunting visions of the werespiders, of Karvanak, of the demons crowded in. But I knew I could hold my own in a fight. As frightening as the creatures were, I knew I could face them and win--or at least take them down with me. I could stand up for myself; I didn't need anyone else to fight my battles for me. This time, I chased them from my heart without coaxing, ordering them to depart.
Suddenly, the room was silent--the sound of scuttling feet gone--and a sliver of bril iance broke through the darkness, fil ing the dim corners of my heart as the inky void fel away.
Open your eyes. You have learned to pass through the fear intact. You've found your inner light, Delilah, the part of yourself that can slice through the darkness. All Death Maidens must find their light, for they work in the darkness, and the energy must balance. It is harder for you, because you still live, but you've done it. Be proud of yourself, and know that you will never lose that light again.
Slowly, I opened my eyes. The room was lit, and there was nothing to be seen except an empty chamber with a bright light shimmering through it, and I was sitting on a bench in the center. As I let out my breath, I looked down and gasped. The tattoos on my arms had changed. The black shadow was more vivid, and the hints of burnished copper and rust shone within the leaves. My marks were growing stronger, and I guessed with every lesson, the tattoos would darken. Proud that I'd passed, content that I'd faced down the chal enge and won, I glanced up to see a glimpse of a shadow in the corner.
"Delilah?" The voice echoed out of the shadows.
I know you. You have been with me before. "You're not Hi'ran, but you bear his energy. You've come to me several times now. Let me see who you are." My pulse began to race, and my heart leapt into my throat. I needed to find out just who he was. I needed to meet him. There was something so familiar, and yet . . . so alien.
And then he stepped out of the corner of the room. His lips were the first feature I noticed. They curled into a bow, into the most delicate of smiles. I could tel he was a moment away from laughing, and that made the serene smile seem al the more intriguing. I stepped back, my gaze locked with his.
Hi'ran?
No . . . not Hi'ran. And yet--the autumn was there, in his aura, in his energy. I could see it, feel it, practical y taste it, like candy corn and caramel apples and pot roast and pumpkin soup.
