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"I had my first lesson with another Death Maiden tonight. These are the results. They'l darken and change as I go along."
"Then I was right," he said softly.
"Right about what?"
Chase shook his head. "Never mind. Leave it for now. They're pretty. Lovely, real y. You are growing more and more into your father's side of the family, aren't you?" Before I could answer, he continued, "I'm sorry about the skunk, but the smel wil go away, won't it?"
"Luke--from the Wayfarer--has a deodorizer he's going to give me, and that should take care of the problem. Won't bring my hair back, but what the hel ." I flashed him a slow smile. Now that I'd gotten him to laugh, maybe the tension would back off. "So, do I smel bad enough that you don't want to touch me?"
He frowned. "No . . . no . . . though I don't dare get that scent on this suit. Too expensive." He paused, then added, "Oh hel . I'm sorry, Delilah. You deserve an explanation for why I've been so aloof . . ."
My heart caught in my throat. If he's been lying to me again . . .
"Is Erika back?" I whispered.
He looked up at me slowly, then shook his head. "No, she's not. And I haven't been sleeping around. I wouldn't lie to you again. But we need to talk. We promised to be honest with each other."
The look in his eyes made me want to cry. Haunted, alone, nervous--I could read him like a book. But there was something else, something that I couldn't pin down. And I had a strong feeling I wasn't going to like what he had to say.
"What is it? What's going on?"
Fumbling with the hem of his jacket, he shook his head.
"You know I've been going through al this stuff, trying to sort out what's happening to my life, right? But what you--and your sisters--don't know is that the Nectar of Life opened me up. I'm feeling things, sensing things on such an intense level that I don't know how to deal with them. It's like a door opened up, and I stepped into a whole new world. Sharah says that the potion catalyzed my psychic senses and that I'm starting to evolve some sort of power. She thinks I'm going to end up a pretty strong psychic."
Whoa. I hadn't expected to hear this, and part of me was hurt that he hadn't come to me with it first, but I pushed away the feeling. At least he'd gone to somebody with it instead of hiding it. Crossing to his side, I sat next to him and took his hand in mine.
"I don't know what to say. Camil e speculated this might happen--she's sensed something in you over the years. A glimmer of power . . . we just have no idea where you got it from. Maybe your parents or grandparents?"
He nodded. "I've wondered now and then . . . and I don't know where it comes from either. I guarantee you it wasn't my mother, and I real y don't know any of our relatives--she saw to that. Can you understand that I'm just . . . there are so many things . . ."
"Shush . . . I understand. I real y do. But maybe, if you'd let me help you, I could release some of that tension." I reached for his shirt and begin to unbutton it, but he caught my hands in his, pul ing them away from his chest.
"Delilah, there's more. I thought it was too early to say anything, so I've been staying away, examining my feelings. I wanted to wait, wanted to see what if I was just afraid. But I guess I'd better just tel you."
Puzzled, I stopped. More? Okay, so I knew that he'd been having a difficult time with the transition, but what else was hiding behind those limpid pools of chocolate that passed for eyes?
"What's going on, Chase? Did you . . . are you . . . gay?" That was the only thing I could think of that might account for him putting distance between us.
"Gay?" He blinked. "No, sweetie. Trust me, I'm not. The thing is . . . here's the thing . . . you see . . ."
"Just spit it out." Whatever it was, knowing had to be better than facing uncertainty.
He let out a long sigh. "During the past month, I've been thinking about so many things. I need to take some time. Get to know myself now that this has happened. Now that I've got far longer than another forty or fifty years to spend with my own company. I need space and time to adjust to . . . wel , my new life."
I didn't like where this was going. The expression drained off my face. "You want to break up? Are you sure there's no one else?"
He stroked my cheek, smiling sadly. "I haven't cheated on you; I haven't lied to you. There's no one else. I just honestly don't think I can cope with any relationship right now and deal with everything else, too. For now, I need space."
Boom. Godzil a hit dead center, and I toppled like Tokyo.
I forced myself to stare at the floor. If I stared at the floor, then I'd be okay. "When you say for now . . . "
"I mean for now. For however long it takes me to come to grips with this. Maybe I'l wake up tomorrow and be okay. Maybe it wil take twenty years.
Forty. I don't know. I'm so confused. I love you--please know that--but there's so much . . ." He trailed off, and I held up my hand.
"No. Don't say it. Don't even try to explain right now. I need to process this." I walked over to my closet, where I retrieved my favorite terrycloth robe. Not giving a damn about the scent of skunk, I slid it over the chemise, suddenly feeling shy. As I turned back to stare at Chase, the look in his eyes told me just how close he was to running scared. I could see it on his face; I could feel it in his silent plea for understanding.
