Page 164 of Secrets on Ice

She stares at me for a long moment. Then all the fight goes out of her at once, and she drops onto my couch and puts her face in her hands.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“I was helping someone. What was wrong with that?” I ask her.

“You really are thick. You realize who you are and that people are interested in who you date, right?”

I shrug. I’ve seen stuff about me in the past, but I don’t pay much attention to it because I’m not someone like Pierre, who is one of the main guys in the league.

“No one truly cares about what I’m up to,” I tell her.

“See, that is where you are wrong. People do care. It’s gone viral, and Em saw.”

Everything in me goes very still.

“She was scrolling this morning, and it came up on some gossip page. She pretended she was fine about it, but I didn’t believe her. She gave me this brave speech about how he’s single, he can do whatever he wants, but I can tell she’s hurt.”

My stomach drops through the floor. “How hurt?” I ask.

“She's jealous hurt, and she's trying so hard to be brave about it. She'd rather die than admit it to you or anyone.”

The woman I love is one floor down hurting over a photograph I didn’t even think anything of. I am an idiot, Cass is right. I honestly didn’t think she would see it. I fucked up. But she’s also jealous, which means she must feel something, right? Which means all these months down there, she's been thinking about me, too, that it’s not one-sided.

“Don't.” Cassidy points at me. “Don't you dare smile.”

“I'm not smiling.” I’m totally smiling because there’s a tiny bit of hope that all is not lost between Ember and me.

“You are absolutely smiling, you psychopath.”

“Sorry, it's just … she's jealous.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t think …”

“I know, and she didn’t say out loud that she was, but I know her.” She throws a cushion at my head. “So go down there and fix it. Tell her the whole thing was staged. Tell her about the auction, tell her about the ex, all of it.”

“No.”

She stops. “What?”

“No.” I'm not smiling anymore. “Don't tell her, Cass. Please.”

“Are you actually insane?” she says, throwing up her hands.

I get up because I can't sit still for this conversation. “Look at what she's done,” I say. “Not long ago, she couldn't get out of that apartment. She couldn't get in an elevator. Now she's got a therapist and she's back at work. She's eating, going to run club, and going out. She's built herself back up from nothing, and she's done it on her own. It's the bravest thing I've ever watched anybody do.”

“And?”

“So, if I go running down there to explain myself, what am I actually doing?” I turn to face her. “Forcing her to love me.”

Cassidy opens her mouth. Closes it again.

“She needs a life that's hers,” I say. “Not a life that's built around a man. I'm not going to take that from her because I love her.”

“Urgh, you are impossible, frustrating, and annoying and all the other words. I don’t get it. You love her, don’t you?” she yells at me.

“Yes.”