Page 18 of Beautiful Failure


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Sarah parks her car behind mine and doesn’t get out. Instead she honks and waves her hand out of the window, motioning for me to get in.

I don’t.

I walk over to her window. “Give me a minute. I have a twenty in my car, but I only need a nickel bag. You got change?”

“It’s on me. Get in.”

I stand frozen. Back when I smoked weed with Leah, she always stressed two things: 1) When contemplating life, always smoke alone. 2) When you want to smoke alone, smoke alone.

“No...” I shake my head. “That’s okay. I’ll just—”

“Get in the goddamn car, Emerald.” She rolls her eyes.

I sigh and get in, and before I can fasten my seatbelt she speeds off into the night.

Jay Z’s “99 Problems” is blaring through her speakers, and two new Tiffany & Co. bracelets are sparkling on her wrist.

After what feels like forever, she pulls into a deserted field where an abandoned billboard and a water tower stand side by side. She grabs a small box from the center console and tells me to join her on the hood.

“Here,” she says as she hands me a triple pack of sweet apple cigars. “Shed those for me while I grind the seeds.”

We sit in silence—letting the mosquitos peck at our skin, concentrating on our separate tasks. When I’m finished, she evenly disburses the weed into each empty paper and I roll them, licking the ends to make sure they’re tight.

She pulls a lighter out of her pocket and burns the end of one, taking a long drag before passing it to me. “Did Mr. Wes at least fire you in person?”

“Does it matter? Being fired is being fired. The personal touch doesn’t make it any better.”

“I’ve never been fired so I wouldn’t know.”

“Lucky you...” I inhale the smoke until it burns in my chest, and then I form an “O” with my lips, puffing white rings across the night. “I’ll find something else.”

“Hmmm.” She pulls a folded napkin from her pocket and hands it to me. “This is from your friend.”

“My friend?” I open the napkin and read the note: “I miss your terrible service and your bitter coffee.

—Carter.

I don’t want to be a stranger. 555-0965”

I suppress a smile and put his note into my pocket.

Sarah and I continue to pass the blunt back and forth until it’s so small it burns our fingers. Then she lights up another one.

“There’s this other place I work at,” she whispers. “I think you would be a good fit there.”

“Is this other place how you afford your designer clothes?”

She smiles and leans back against the hood. “It is. You interested?”

“I already have one legal case over my head, so if it’s illegal no thanks.”

“Gentlemen’s clubs aren’t illegal.”

“You mean strip clubs?”

“Sort of...” She hands me a black business card. “I average at least four hundred dollars a night, but on some nights, much more.”

I stare at the card. There are only two words—“The Phoenix” and a number.

No address. No details. Nothing.

“It’s only stripping, right?”

“If that’s all you’re in for, yeah.” Her voice is low. “That’s all I do, but it depends on the person. The money I make from keeping it simple is more than enough.”

I sigh and turn the card over in my hands.

Four hundred dollars a night for at least five nights a week is an easy two thousand dollars. If I did that for the summer I’d have more than enough to pay the city back and skip town.

“Expect the cold shoulder treatment when you first start.” Sarah interrupts my thoughts. “If you choose to work there, I mean.”

“Why?”

“Stripping isn’t like a normal hourly job, it’s extremely competitive. You and I are friends and all, but—”

“We’re friends?”

“I wouldn’t be sharing my weed with you if we weren’t.” She takes the blunt from me. “Anyway, every week there’s some new doe-eyed girl that tries out for the club, some girl who thinks that just because she’s beautiful we’ll all bow at her feet and she’ll make the most money. It never happens for her.”

“I don’t think like that.”

“Ha!” She laughs. “You’ve probably never had to beg for attention a day in your life.”

“That’s not true...”

“Sure, it isn’t. Beautiful people always have it easy. No need to lie.”

I roll over on the hood and look her over. She’s extremely attractive—blond hair, bright blue eyes, small button nose and high cheekbones, so I’m confused as to why she doesn’t think she’s beautiful.

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