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As I pull into the employee parking lot, I smile at the way this place impacted me this summer.
The money was good, great, but what was better was that feeling—Well, feeling at all really. I’d spent the past two years in a numb haze, existing—letting life happen to me. But at The Phoenix, I controlled my own life and sometimes the lives of others.
I fulfilled men’s fantasies by dancing on that stage, by letting them get close enough for one second—making them believe that I was attainable, that they could have me. They made me feel wanted, and I made them feel wanted back.
“Hello, Raven.” Charlie greets me in the lot. “I thought you were off today.”
“I am. I’m just here to tell Michael that I’m quitting.”
“What?” He crosses his arms. “Why?”
“I’m starting college in a few weeks. I need to get ready.”
“You just came to that decision or have you known that all along?”
“Why? Are you going to miss me?”
“Nope.” He opens the door and holds it for me. “Good riddance.”
I smile and give him a hug before heading down to Michael’s office. Sighing, I take a deep breath and knock on the door.
“Come in,” he answers.
I open the door and see him sitting behind his desk, puffing a cigarette.
A girl buttons her shirt and rushes past me before the door completely shuts.
“New dancer?” I ask, plopping down in the seat on front of him.
“Unfortunately not.” He sighs. “She cried before she could get her shirt off so I told her to go home. Are you that bored that you needed to come in on your off day and bother me? Or are you that broke?”
“I’m quitting.” I rush the words out and he furrows his brow.
“You’re what?”
“Quitting.”
He blinks.
“I’m sorry I can’t put in a longer notice, but I thought I would at least come by and tell you in person.”
“Do you not own a cell phone anymore?” He rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair. “This actually would’ve been a lot more shocking if your two little friends hadn’t already told me, but thank you, Raven. I appreciate you making a two hour drive just to tell me that you’re quitting the day before your next shift, the day before you’ve been booked for five private shows and are anticipated to lead the half hour premier set on the main stage. How thoughtful of you.”
“You’re mad at me?”
“Of course not.” He scoffs. “Tits like yours are a dime a dozen and I’ll have you replaced by midnight. Get the fuck out of my office.”
“Ugh. Whatever.” I roll my eyes and head for the door.
“Wait.” He stands up and walks over to me, extending his hand. “You were okay after all. If you ever want to come back, just let me know—in advance.”
I laugh and shake his hand, thanking him for taking a chance on me.
When I step out of his office, I head down to the dressing room and find myself face to face with Robyn and Sarah.
“I should’ve known you were the classy college type.” Robyn frowns. “Well, not classy, but you know what I mean. You better still call me after you leave.”
“Stop acting like she’s dying.” Sarah snaps. “She’ll be in Blythe for five more weeks and she’s only going to be a couple hours away.” She purses her lips. “I better get an invite to every fucking party you go to and you better invite me up the second you get settled.”
“Done.” I laugh and pull my bag out of my locker. “Breakfast tomorrow?” I don’t even know why I’m asking that like it’s an option. She and Robyn have been coming over and eating breakfast every Saturday whether I invite them or not (whether I’m there or not).
“Duh,” Robyn says. “Are you going to stay and watch us perform?”
“No...” I shake my head. “I wasn’t planning on it. I was just coming and going.”
“Ha! You can come and go after you dance tonight.”
“What?”
“College books are fucking expensive.” Sarah taps her lip. “You shouldn’t let your grandparents pay for everything.”
“I have more than enough money saved up for books.”
“Yeah, well...” Robyn pushes me over to a vanity. “Make some more. Just one more time. What could it hurt?”
I shrug and decide to put on a final show, to bask in the lust and applause one last time.
At midnight, I take the stage as Raven, dressed in a black corset and fishnet stockings. Underneath hazy red lights and smoke, to a slow sensuous song that begs for every man in the building to touch me, I dance as if my life depends on it.
