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I ducked my head. “Everything is changing. So much flies in at us. Delilah and Shade watch Jerry Springer together. He’s bored by it, but he does it because he loves her. That . . .” I was almost ashamed to admit I was jealous of him.
“Was your job until he showed up?” She grinned.
Nodding, I didn’t answer. It was embarrassing to be jealous of her boyfriend. But Kitten and I didn’t get much time to spend together, and it seemed she’d been so thoroughly caught up in her new romance that she’d barely had the chance to hang out with me lately.
“The sparks wil fade to a passionate ember, and she wil come up for air again. Look at me—
“The sparks wil fade to a passionate ember, and she wil come up for air again. Look at me—
three men. I must have been unbearable for the longest time.” She cleared her throat. “What else?”
I gazed into the sky. The colors of silver and white merged on the skyline and it was difficult to tel where the cloud cover ended and the ground began. “We’re moving apart, aren’t we? Look—
I’m waiting to go out with Roman to trounce Terrance. And you and Delilah aren’t coming with me.
Wade and Chase and I took care of Charles.”
“Sil y girl!” Camil e stood up and the coat slid off her shoulders to the floor. Hands on her hips, she shook her head. “Listen to me and listen good. I couldn’t be there—not with Morio in the hospital. And Delilah’s not al owed to fight again yet. You think we would have missed the action if there hadn’t been a good reason? I’d love to go out with you tonight but I’m exhausted, and with Smoky just home . . . besides . . .” She sat down with a thud. “I need to make sure nobody tel s him about Vanzir and me yet. You and I both know Smoky would kil him, and I’m not sure what he’d do to me.”
“To you? It wasn’t your choice.”
“Technical y, it was. I could have let him feed on my magic. But I think Smoky would decide either sin was worth kil ing for. I have to impress on him first just how traumatic and horrifying the event was—for both of us, not just me. Then, he might understand.” She shrugged. “And if not, then Vanzir can at least run without the soul binder kil ing him. And he’d have to run long and hard to get away from Smoky’s wrath.”
I turned to her and took her hands. “What do you think about that? Vanzir is no longer under our control. I’m not sure what to think about that.”
“Me either, but he’s in pretty deep with the Demon Underground and I think that may come in handy. He seems to want to stay.” She hung her head. “If I could have it to do al over again, I’d come up those rungs, iron or not.”
I didn’t know how to ask the next question but final y decided just to blurt it out. “Was he . . . was it painful? Did he hurt you?”
Camil e’s eyes were wide as she shook her head. “No, in fact it was . . . exhilarating. I’ve been avoiding Vanzir since we first bound him through the Ritual of Subjugation, and now I know why.
When he was feeding on my energy, it was like he was a crazed monster—gobbling up every speck of light and bril iance in my soul.”
I winced, not wanting to hear but feeling like I had to. I had to understand what had gone on if I was going to help hold things together when Smoky found out. “That bad . . .”
“Yes. And then, when I forced his attention to my body, then he was overwhelming in a passionate way. I love sex, but he was . . . the attention, the focus and drive were almost too much.
It was as if he owned me in a way that I’ve never given anyone permission to own me before. He was . . . more than a part of me. I don’t know how to explain it—but I don’t think I ever want to experience it again, even though the actual sex was incredible.”
“He’s demon—that probably has some play into it. But Morio, he’s a demon, too. Isn’t it like that with him?”
“He’s a youkai—not the kind of demon that Vanzir is. There’s a difference.” She fel silent. After a moment, she added, “I feel like I’ve betrayed al three of them. Menol y, I enjoyed it.” She glanced at me out of the side of her eyes. “I don’t want to admit it, but the fear and the worry—I was so high-strung, and then Vanzir began to feed on me and I panicked.”
“I’d be surprised if some part of you didn’t enjoy fucking him. Camil e, look at who you are.” I bit my lip, trying to find a way to make her see what I could see. “You’re a highly sexual woman, and you are our father’s daughter. The Fae in our blood drives you. And any time you’re running an adrenaline rush, of course that side of you is going to be on high alert.”
She let out a shudder that was almost a sob. “I don’t want to tel them, but I have to. I know Tril ian wil understand, but Morio—how wil he feel knowing that he was lying there dying while I had my legs wrapped around Vanzir?”
I couldn’t answer. But I could tel her what she needed to hear. “It wil al be okay. Just wait for the right time. The rest of us won’t say a word. Just think before you speak. Don’t let your guilt eat at you. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
Roman’s limousine appeared in the driveway. I pressed her hand, then stood. “I have to go.
What we’re doing tonight is important, not just for the vampires of Seattle, but for the FBHs, too.
Because vamps like Terrance feed on the innocent. Wish me luck. I’l be home before morning.”
And as I headed down the steps, leaving them to sort out the mishmash of things that had happened, I knew Camil e was right. She and Delilah would be at my back always. We might grow our own separate ways, but we wouldn’t grow apart. I just wished I could have made her feel better the way she had me. But that was my sister: always the rock of the family.
Roman was dressed in black jeans and a tight black sweater, and his hair was caught back in a French braid. I gazed at him.
