Page 6 of When It’s All Said And Done

“Hell, when I got out. It’s been so much info I’ve been hit with these last two days.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot. To get out and meet yo’ mama and yo’ daughter ca…”

“Who got a fuckin’ daughter?!”

“You, nigga. I know Nessa told you ‘bout the baby finally.”

“Nawl, Nessa ain’t told me shit because I ain’t seen her. How ‘bout you fill me the fuck in.”

Chapter 3

Nessa

“Buckle up, Nyla,” I instructed my four-year-old daughter.

“Yes Mommy,” she answered before doing as she was told. “Did Daddy send me a letter?”

“Yes ma’am. We’ll read it once we make it to the park.”

“Yay! Can we listen to K-Pop Demon Hunters?”

Instead of answering her question, I turned on Golden by Huntrix once loaded into my 2013 Kia Forte. She sang her heart out on the parts that she knew. The rest of the soundtrack played until we made it to our destination. We arrived at the park shortly after I’d picked her up from daycare. I noticed it wasn’t as packed as usual as we made our way towards a table.

“Read it, Mommy, read it!” She beamed once we were seated.

“Ok, ok, calm down. I’m goin’ to read it,” I laughed as she settled.

“I’m calm. Can you read it please?”

“Fine.”

I pulled the letter out of my pocket before opening it. It warmed my heart to see that she still got so excited when a letter came in from her dad. That overshadowed the heartbreak I felt for forging the letter in the first place. When Nyla was two, she asked where her dad was and I told her he was in the military. I stuck with that lie all the way until now and planned to have her dad go along with it whenever he got out.

Every week she’d get a letter from her dad, and that was the highlight of her week. Each letter I’d include in there that her dad was proud of her, his response to her weekly catchup, how she was the best daughter in the world, and how he couldn’t wait to come home to her. After I read it, she was all smiles and giggles and couldn’t wait to get home to write back. Her response was the exact reason why I chose to continue with this lie rather than to crush her spirits with the truth.

While she played on the playground, I responded to a text from Chance. He’d gotta some money Nas had sent and wanted to give it to me. I always wondered what the fuck he was doing in prison to where he could send me a few hundred dollars every two weeks. With no way to ask him directly, I decided not to worry about it since he made it clear I wasn’t getting any access to him. After I read that Chance was on the way, I put my phone in my pocket and went to play with Nyla.

These last four years have had their share of ups and downs, but my daughter truly has been my biggest blessing. While pregnant with her I was determined to pass all my CNA classes to be able to provide a decent life for her. The first two years I had the help of Mama Eva, which was such a blessing. Before she passed away, my mom reached out wanting to reconcile. I was skeptical at first until after I got some advice from Mama Eva, I was open to the idea.

“Yo, Nessa,” Chance called out as he walked his daughter, Nyla’s best friend slash cousin, Chanel, over to the area she was in.

The girls were four months apart with Nyla being the oldest. I felt bad for Chance because he was forced to be a single dad when his baby mama died during childbirth. He has been doing his damn thing and every chance I got I had Chanel over there with me, Nyla, and Yasmine. As he made his way over towards me, I thought of how I was going to spend the money on Nyla’s upcoming field trip and give my mom the rest. I’d already covered my bills for this month with my check and the money he’d given me two weeks ago.

“Here you go,” he announced as he handed me the envelope. “How you and Nyla holdin’ up?”

“We doin’ good,” I answered. “She missed Chanel last weekend. You know that’s more like her sister than cousin.”

“I know, I know. Chanel wasn’t feeling the change either, but she had to see Keisha’s parents while they were in town.”

“You know I understand but ya girl over there wasn’t too happy about it. How was the visit?”

“It was cool. I still be missin’ her but I know God makes no mistakes so when I wanna be angry I just do my best to trust him. I’m just thankful that Chanel has you, Nyla and Yas in her life. Now, I just need you to hook me up with Yas, so she can have a stepmama.”

“Aht, aht. I am not gettin’ in the middle of that. If it happens that’s good but it won’t be because of me. If anything were to go bad, I refuse to be damn blamed.”

“Ain’t shit gonna go bad. You know Chanel and her already got a bond from them already hangin’ out on the weekends.”

“Uh huh. Anyways thank you for these lil’ coins. How’s your cousin doin’ anyways?”