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“Then go outside and give Iris a call. Have them start moving things over.” One worry off my list. “Meanwhile, Smoky, you, Trillian, Delilah, and I are going hunting for Chase on the astral. Vanzir and Roz, you take Shamas and go home. Do what you can to help Iris get ready.”
As I stood up, I turned to Sharah. “Can you stay with Hanna? I don’t want her waking up and freaking out because we’re gone.”
“No problem,” she said. “Duties at headquarters are pretty light right now.” She paused, then whispered, “When you find Chase . . . tell him I’m . . . waiting for him.”
Delilah let out a soft sigh. “I’ll tell him, Sharah. I know he’ll be happy to hear it.”
And that was it. We were on the move again—me with a broken finger and a bruised and battered body. But it felt good to be in action again. I’d had my fill of being on the other end of the stick.
Chapter 16
As we sped toward Tangleroot Park, it occurred to me that I’d better let Aeval know I was back—if she even knew I’d been captured. But right now, I was determined to save Chase before he got in trouble. I couldn’t bear the thought of him wandering alone forever, trying to find his way home. I knew what it felt like to be utterly alone.
We parked on the outskirts of the park and headed toward where we’d first entered the portal. I remembered what Aeval had taught me and was prepared to open it by myself. But to my surprise, we arrived to find the portal back again—unattended. Either it had sprung back up on its own within the past few hours, or nobody had been down this way to notice it for awhile. Given the time of year, the snow, and the obscurity of the park, I was betting on the latter.
As we neared the vortex, I stopped, sniffing the air. “Crap.”
“What’s wrong?” Delilah hurried to my side.
“I smell the Bog Eater—on this side of the portal. Damn it—he got through. He’s loose somewhere, but the trail ends here and I can’t track him.”
One more thing on our worry list. Another of the Elder Fae—a man-eating one, at that—had rejoined the world at large. And he wasn’t terribly amenable to reason.
“Should we go after him now? Try to figure out where he went?”
I thought about it, then shook my head. “We won’t find him today. He’s passed by this way, but he’s gone now. And I want to find Chase. Let’s just go on—but we’ll keep our eyes open. Pretty soon the Bog Eater’s going to wreak havoc and we’ll be here to track him down.”
Smoky pulled me to one side.
“We have to speak. We have to discuss what happened.” He put his arms around me, holding me gently against his chest. “I cannot bear to think you might blame me for my father’s actions—though I understand why you might.”
We hadn’t had a chance to talk in private. Actually, that wasn’t altogether true. The fact was, I’d avoided being alone with him and Trillian. I’d seen enough pain and worry in my life to understand that I’d have issues to work through, but I also knew that none of my husbands could have prevented what had happened, and that none of them were to blame. When it came down to it, we were all alone. There was no such thing as perfect safety. No such thing as invulnerability. One wrong move, one wrong slip, and any of us could be at the mercy of fate—or a psychotic dragon.
But once we were alone together, I’d have to let go. I’d have to have my breakdown and exorcise Hyto’s ghost from my body and mind. Anyone being too kind to me right now threatened my ability to push back the rage and the fear. And Smoky’s arms around me were too gentle, too caring, too loving for me to summon up my courage.
I pushed him back, my hand against his heart as I stared into those concerned glacial eyes. He looked so similar to his father—and yet he was not Hyto, and his nature took away the resemblance that could have come between us.
“I love you.” Tears sprang to my eyes. “But we cannot talk about this here. I will need you—I will need you and Trillian and Morio, and my sisters, to get through this. But right now, I want to save Chase. If we can save Chase, I won’t feel so helpless.”
“I’m worried about you—your injuries are not mild, my love.” A look of pain crossed his face. “I can’t bear to think that my own flesh and blood did this to you. That I let him take you away.”
“You didn’t let him. It’s not your fault, and I’ll never blame you for what happened. Hyto is the one who hurt me. He’s solely responsible for his actions, and we will make him pay. But right now, I have to keep busy. I have to keep from dwelling on the past few days. Do you understand?” I leaned up and kissed him gently on the cheek. “What is in your heart—that is what I love. Not how invulnerable you can make my life.”>“We all have our devils . . . yours is just larger than most,” she whispered as I downed the bottle of pink liquid she pressed into my hand. “Here, drink this for the pain. And if you need to talk, I’m here. You know that, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I said softly. “If Hyto is my devil, then he’s going to find himself on the wrong end of the pitchfork.”
After she treated me, Sharah turned her attention to Hanna and I rejoined the others in the living room. Delilah motioned me toward the kitchen and, managing to convince Smoky and Trillian that I’d be all right without them joined to my hip, I followed her into the warm, cozy room.
As I slid into one of the distressed kitchen chairs, wincing, she pushed a sandwich in front of me. “You need to regain your strength. Eat more.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I pulled the sandwich to me—peanut butter and jelly? Since when did Smoky eat peanut butter?
As she sat down, staring at me, I felt my reserve slipping. “Camille . . . what do you need? You’ve always been here for us, and now it’s our turn. Whatever you need, just ask.”
She leaned forward and picked up a potato chip off the plate, lifting it to my lips. I obediently opened my mouth and accepted the crisp, chewing slowly as I thought over her question. What did I need? My emotions were racing between heartbroken and furious.
I let out a sigh and put down the sandwich as she stood and poured me a glass of milk. “What do I need? What I need is for none of this to have happened. But it did, and now I need to figure out how to cope with it. My emotions are all over the board. I haven’t had time to process what’s happened. Hyto . . . he humiliated me, Delilah. I can withstand a lot of things, but that—no. He stripped me of my dignity, and he hurt me.”
“How . . . how are you going to handle what he . . . the . . .”
