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Smoky gave him a short nod. “Yes. Unfortunately.”
I broke in, trying to control my nerves. “We have further problems.” I outlined what had happened to Delilah and me, first in the portal, and then what I’d learned down at the bookstore.
“So we’ve got to figure out what to do about Chase, and . . . I think the person looking for me at the shop was the snow monkey that Trytian mentioned.”
My words died on my lips as I stared at the floor. The room was silent for a moment, and then before the testosterone could fly, I added, “I am thinking of selling the bookstore. I’m afraid for the people who come in. I’m afraid more innocent people will die because of the demons, or an irate dragon, or just because I’m a handy target for the Fae-haters.”
Morio shook his head. “You can’t let fear rule your life. If you do, you’ll lose more than you know. Everyone on this planet takes a chance the moment they wake up in the morning and get out of bed. You’ve seen Earth’s history—the wars in the Middle East, the world wars, the natural disasters . . . people dealt with them. Now, the biggest war is headed our way and you’re doing everything you can to stop it. Closing the Indigo Crescent isn’t going to prevent people from getting hurt.”
“He’s right,” Trillian said, his voice surprisingly soft. “You have never been one to run in fear. That’s one thing I’ve always loved about you. You said the hell with it and faced danger time and again. And now, my lovely wife, you need to stand up and face the facts of what’s going down. All the facts.”
It was both a question and a demand. And I knew right then that Trillian would bring it up if I didn’t. And Trillian didn’t mince words. He didn’t play fair, and he didn’t sidestep delicate issues.
I sucked in a deep breath. “Yeah. I’d better. Vanzir . . . will you please leave the room? In fact, you might want to go for a long walk. Roz, you, too. I’ve got something to talk over with my husbands.”
Vanzir jerked around. He stared at me, then bit his lip, nodded, and left without a word, Roz following behind him.
Smoky looked puzzled, Morio perplexed. I walked over and locked the door. As if that could stop Smoky from breaking through the wall if he wanted, but hey, it was something. And it might give Vanzir an extra moment to make a break for it.
I turned, scarcely able to breathe. My loves stared back at me. Trillian nodded, and I realized that he was on my side. How he found out—and just how much he knew—I had no idea. But he wasn’t going to go apeshit. Morio was still too wounded to throttle the demon. That left . . .
“I have something to tell you. You have to promise to remain calm. I need you to be calm for me. Before we left for the Northlands, something happened.” I could barely whisper. “There was no way to avoid it. You have to understand this . . . you have to understand . . . Morio—remember how bad it was? Smoky, you were off helping your mother. And Trillian wasn’t there. We didn’t have enough people in the tunnels when the ghosts attacked. It was bad . . . so bad . . .”
“Camille . . . what happened?” Smoky shifted, his hair coiling out to trail along my shoulder, but I pulled away, shaking my head.
“When Morio was hurt, Menolly and Chase were up top in the snow, trying to keep him alive till Sharah could get there.”
“I don’t even remember that,” Morio said. “Just the pain and the feeling that my life force was draining away.”
I pressed my hand to my stomach. “Yeah . . . I know. I know what that feels like. In the tunnels . . . Vanzir and I were left down there alone. We were fighting for our lives. I was throwing spells right and left. Vanzir was feeding so deeply from the ghosts that he was lost in the energy and couldn’t break free.”
Memories flashed through my mind, vivid, like a waking dream. It had been so surreal, and yet, all too real. “When we tried to get to the ladder, I couldn’t find my gloves—and the rungs were iron.”
Trillian nodded, and I could see he’d already forgiven me. He, of all three, would understand the most. He was my alpha, but he had the same Fae nature I did. Possessive? Yes. But to the point of stupidity? No.
Turning away, I walked over to the door and leaned against it, my head resting on the cool wood. Then I whirled around and pressed my back against it . . . eyeing the three men from whom I knew I could never keep secrets. They were my all. My everything. My loves.
I just hoped they’d feel the same about me after tonight.
Smoky started to stand, but I motioned for him to sit down.
“As I said, I threw some hefty energy bolts that night . . . the air was charged, drenched in energy. Vanzir was trying to feed on the ghosts, to keep them away from us. It was like being trapped in a horror movie with no one from the cavalry coming to save us. I got too close to Vanzir—he warned me not to, but I was trying to get his attention, to see if he knew where my gloves were.”
I paused, waiting, searching Smoky’s face. But Morio, I couldn’t look at Morio. How could I, when he’d been bleeding to death while I’d been down below, fucking a demon?
“What did he do?” Trillian asked, his voice even.
“His feelers were out, seeking energy, and right then we were attacked again. I cast another spell—a huge mother of an energy bolt. Vanzir latched onto me and began to feed.”
Smoky stood, his eyes draining to cold, flat gray.
“Stop! Please stop. Wait. Let me finish,” I begged him, still unable to leave the door. After a moment he sat back down, but his back was stiff, his expression unreadable.
“Vanzir didn’t want to feed on me. He tried to stop himself, but his nature overtook him. He was draining me. It was horrible, but even through the pain and the invasiveness, I could feel his anguish. There was only one way I knew how to stop him. One way to make him break off from my mind.”
I was crying now, both in fear and in sadness. So much had gone wrong. I held out my hands. “I gave myself to him. It stopped him from feeding on me.”
Smoky slowly stood again, then stepped forward, staring at me with a look so harsh that I cringed. Trillian noticed and tried to intervene, but Smoky’s hair thrashed, whipping him out of the way. Morio let out a cry.
