Page 104 of Theta

"I mean your hair or something, Killian."

“Oh." He finishes cleaning the barrel and then reassembles the weapon in a matter of seconds. "Right."

"Horny bitch I may be, but that ain't happening any time soon, Kills. Sorry."

He steps out of the arrangement of disassembled weapons and sits with his back to the side of the bed, rests his head back against the mattress close enough that I can trail my fingers over his scalp, toy with his hair.

He lets out a soft, pleased groan. "That's nearly as good."

I sniff softly—as close to a laugh as I can get without it hurting. "A little head-rubbing?"

"Consider the head-rubbing joke made."

"Consider it laughed at."

"Non-sexual affection, I mean,” he says, after a second. “Little-known secret about us dudes: non-sexual affection means almost as much to us as sex, just in a different way."

"For real?"

He nods. "Oh, god yeah. Cal and I have talked about this a lot. I want my dick touched, yes. Like, all the time, any way I can get it. But I also love just…handholding. I love it when you play with my hair like that, or my ears, or my face. It's not about thinking that it'll lead to getting my dick touched. Just to know that you care. Y'know?"

My heart melts a little. "This is a big deal to you, isn't it?" I ask, letting my touch idly explore the upper shell of his ear, then his temple, cheekbone.

He lets his head rest against the mattress, nodding. "Yeah. Dunno why, but it is."

I let my eyes close for a moment. "Good thing physical affection is one of the primary ways I show love, then, huh?"

"It's almost like you were made for me."

"Kinda seems like it, yeah."

We drowse, then. I feel Killian twitching a few times, a sign that he's actually falling asleep. And I can't help but wonder how much sleep he's let himself get while I was unconscious. Not much, I'd guess.

I'm on the cusp of sleep myself when the door to the room slams open with a sudden, jarring crash—we both jolt awake.

"They are here!" Dante says, panicked and breathless. "My tio has gone. He took his boat and left while I was asleep."

Killian surges to his feet with a tight snarl of pain, gun in hand, and then relaxes when he realizes it's just Dante. "Fine by me. The bastard sold us out."

"He has no good choices," Dante says. "But still, I am sorry. I do not know he is doing this."

"I know," Killian mutters. "Not your fault. Not even his. Just very big suck for us." He kneels and reassembles the rest of the handguns as fast as possible, his hands a blur of flawless precision; he taps a mag home in one, racks the slide, and hands it to Dante butt first. "Help or run. Your choice."

"I am not that kind of a drug dealer," Dante says. "In my heart, I am only a selling man."

"Salesman?" Killian asks.

Dante nods. “Like The Wolf of Wall Street, yes? I love this movie. Margot Robbie, you know what I mean? I do not know what stocks are, but it look very exciting."

Killian shoves a spare pistol in his waistband and then fills his pockets with magazines. "Dante? Focus. Ever been in a gunfight?"

Dante shakes his head. "No, no way. I am a good boy, okay? Sure, I sell the erba. But this is harmless, you know? I help tio on the boat. Sometimes we pick up a package. There is a…cazzo, I do not know the word. A thing which float in one place, hmm, out in the big water? To tell boats where is the deep water and where is the not-deep water. Ehhh…it sound like boy, in English."

"Buoy?" I suggest.

"Yes! One of the buoys. It has the tracciatore so we know where to find it. There is a package wrapped up to be safe from the water. We get it. We take it to the mainland. A man is waiting on the dock for us. We give him the package; he gives us the money. We do this…one time per month, sometimes two, sometime three, not often more. This is all. No shooting. No one is hurt. People smoke too much of the erba; they only fall asleep, sì? No one dies like the bad bad drugs."

"You don't owe us an explanation or justification, Dante," Killian says. "How you make a living is your business. And I tend to agree with you. I also know that there are better, legal ways of making a living. Just saying."