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She nodded, running upstairs. I shut the door, keeping Martin inside till we were ready to move him. As Shade and I sat near the portal, waiting for Kendra, there was a long, low hum, and a crystal on the table lit up. I jumped up. The portal had been activated—I knew because this was the same portal my sisters and I had come through a couple years ago.
Shade made sure Jaycee was comfortable on the sofa and stood beside me. As we waited, I sucked in a deep breath. It was probably nothing. Probably just a visitor from OW.
As a form shimmered into view, I squinted, waiting to see who it was. And then, a leg stepped through, and then another, and we found ourselves facing someone I didn’t think I’d ever see again.
A tawny-haired older man with a ponytail and feral eyes stood there. His eyes lit up when he saw me. It was Venus the Moon Child, the shaman of the Rainier Puma Pride, until he’d been carted off to Otherworld to join the Keraastar Knights under Queen Asteria.
“Venus! What are you doing here? You didn’t bring the spirit seal with you, did you?”
“No, don’t worry about that. I wouldn’t carry it over here.” He smiled sadly. “I’ve come for Zachary. He’s going home with me. For good. He can run free in Otherworld a lot more safely than he can here. And I can watch over him. He contacted me and asked me to come get him.”
I stared at him, reading between the lines. “Is he making the final transformation?” Zach was a Were, and the only time he could run, or walk, was when he was in puma form.
Venus the Moon Child put his hand on my arm. “Yes, my dear. He’s decided that’s what he wants to do. I’m going to help him.”
There were rituals that could permanently shift a Were to his or her natural animal form. My breath quickened and I bit my lip as tears rose to the surface. This was real. Zach was leaving for good. He was going to go back to Otherworld with Venus, and once the ritual was done, he’d be a puma. Forever.
I’d wanted to love Zach because he’d fallen so hard for me, but I couldn’t. I’d been attracted to him and the sex had been great, but it had become apparent to me that while I could love him as a friend, I couldn’t fall in love with him.
During a battle with Karvanak, one of the demon generals we’d fought, Zachary been paralyzed saving Chase’s life. He’d lost everything. His Pride had rejected him because he saved an FBH. He’d lost his job and was living on the grudging charity of the rest of the puma clan.
Venus saw the look on my face, and he pulled me into his arms. “There is no blame. Zach asked me to find you and give you a letter.”
I caught my breath. Zach had rebuffed my friendship. He’d turned me away after he’d been moved to the rehabilitation center. “He wouldn’t talk to me the last three times I tried to see him. He wouldn’t see me.”
“Zachary had to come to terms with the changes in his life.” Venus handed me a letter.
I took it, opening the folded paper. The handwriting was Zach’s.
Dear Delilah:
I asked Venus to talk to you, to give you this letter before he came to take me to my new home. Please, don’t blame yourself for this. I don’t. You thought I was angry at you, and I can understand why. But I needed time alone, without distractions or influences, to decide what was best for me.
And the best thing I can do for me is to live free in Otherworld. It’s not the disability that is holding me hostage, but my own memories, my own fear, and the fact that my family has turned away from me.
The Pride resents me for helping out Chase, for putting myself in danger for someone outside the clan. I do not regret what I did, but their rejection is more than I can handle. I could never live in the city, and I can’t live in a center like this where I’ll never feel truly at home. I’ve always been more comfortable in my puma form. My Were nature longs to be free. To run wild and not feel caged. So, I’ve decided to go with Venus.
I never expected my life to go like this, but destiny has a way of taking us on unexpected journeys. I like to think that even if I hadn’t been hurt, I might have made this same choice. In fact, I think I always knew that I was meant to prowl the mountain ranges, to run high among the rocky crags. I’ll just do it in Otherworld, not in the Cascades.
Please, don’t feel sorry for me. I don’t. Not anymore. I’m looking forward to the next phase of my life. And I wish you—and all your loved ones—the best lives you can have. I pray you are able to win your battle against the demons. And I hope that you, especially, find the love you so dearly deserve. I loved you, Delilah, but now I have to love myself. So I’m letting your memory go, and moving on.
Chapter 19
I stared at the letter in my hand, then looked over at Venus the Moon Child. “Oh, Venus…he’s sure about this?” I didn’t want to think of Zach desperate. Or feeling trapped.
Venus wrapped me in his arms, pulling me close. He patted my back. “Yes, little panther. He is. We’ve talked long and hard. Queen Asteria gave me leave to come back home whenever Zach needed me. I no longer belong to the Pride, either. They’re looking for a new shaman.”
He cupped my chin and gazed into my eyes. “You know, deep in your heart, that he’s not making a rash decision. Zach will have a better life over there with me than he would staying with the Pride.”
I exhaled, slowly. I trusted Venus. He would tell me the truth. He wasn’t one to lie. “Do you need an escort?” I asked, jotting his name down in the book and the purpose of his visit.
He shook his head. “No, I remember my way around. And Zach’s waiting for me. We’ll go back through the portal at Grandmother Coyote’s. I just wanted to deliver his letter first. I was going to leave it here in the bar for you—I didn’t expect you to actually be here.”
I wanted to pour out my troubles to him, to tell him about what we were facing now. Venus the Moon Child seemed to invite confidences, but that wasn’t his job anymore.
“Thank you. I’m glad we had a chance to talk.” I couldn’t just leave things this way. I sought for something else to say, wanting to hold on to Venus. He reminded me of life before it had been totally shot to hell. “Tell Queen Asteria we’re on the track of another spirit seal, would you?”
He nodded. “I shall. I’ll see you…well…sometime in the future, I imagine.” And he headed up the stairs, passing Kendra on the way down.
