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I closed my eyes for a moment. There was no getting out of it—that much I’d discovered about Shade. Once he wanted to know something, he made sure to find it out. He gave persistence a new meaning.
Searching inside for the right words—for the right meaning—I finally let out a long sigh. “Okay. Last night, at the bar, we were up on stage singing to Iris. It was a lot of fun, but the song—‘We Are Family’—set me off. I realize now I was starting to slide into a depression, but then Iris threw up and the stripper got pissed and the bar wanted us out. So I pushed it away. By the time we got home and Chase called, I was primed to spiral down.”
“Why did the song depress you? You aren’t that bad a singer.” Even as he said it, I knew he was joking, trying to goad me into a smile.
I shrugged again, not wanting to admit the truth, even to myself. But the words took on a life of their own and burst out of my mouth.
“Are we really still family? Oh, we love each other and we’re here for each other, and I’m not unhappy that we’re each finding our niche, but damn it, we used to be so close. So tight. And now, now we’re lucky to eat meals together. We hardly ever have time to sit around and talk. We plan movie and shopping dates when we used to just take off whenever we wanted. I hate that things are changing so fast.”
Even as I spoke aloud, I blushed. “I don’t mean to sound like a little girl hanging on the coattails of her sisters. I’m not that anymore, but damn it, I miss the days when we were first in the Y’Elestrial Intelligence Agency, when Father still loved all of us, before Menolly was turned into a vampire. Before…before…”
“Before you came Earthside?” Shade didn’t flinch, didn’t pull away.
Feeling embarrassed, feeling selfish, I nodded. “Yeah. Before we came Earthside. It’s like, we got sent over here and everything changed. The spirit seals started showing up. The demons are pounding at the gate. Camille got married—three times. Menolly found a girlfriend—and apparently, a steady source of party-hearty vampire invitations. We met Iris and now she’s getting married. I know it sounds petty, but who the hell is going to remind me to clean out my cat box? I need those things. I need…a mother. And until now, Camille filled that spot and Menolly was the one who pushed me into trying new things.”
Shade laughed then, a deep, honey-rich laugh that echoed through my body. “Honey, you don’t need a mother to remind you of those things. You need a personal assistant. I’ll do it. I’ll remind you to clean your cat box and pick up your clothes. For one thing, if I don’t I’ll be doomed to sit around smelling—and looking at—cat poop. As for your sisters, be happy for them. And before you say it, yes, I know you are. But, I also know that you want the impossible. You want life to be as uncomplicated as it was before you came over Earthside. Yet you also want the good you’ve encountered here. It can’t happen, love. It just can’t.”
I dashed away the tears. “Do I sound horribly selfish?”
He shook his head. “No, no, sweetie. Just confused and set in your ways, and looking for a hidey-hole in which to crawl. But, Delilah, my love, life moves on. It has to evolve. Look at you. Look how far you’ve come.”
Biting my lip, I couldn’t help but agree. “I guess I want my own changes, but not for them to have theirs. I want them to be there for me when I’m ready, not the other way around. And you’re right, it can’t be that way. We all grow or we all don’t. But it’s hard to face…”
“And it will be harder to face over the coming months. But I’ll be here, to help you. I’m not going anywhere. I’m not afraid of the challenge you present. In fact, I rather enjoy it,” he whispered, nibbling on my neck.
“You really like me?” My voice came out smaller than I’d expected, and I realized that I needed to hear him say it. I needed the reinforcement.
“Really like you? No, my sweet. I really love you. Now kiss me, fuck me, and then get your ass dressed so we can go help one of your best friends on the happiest day of her life.”
He rolled on top of me, hard again, and I opened my legs. As he stroked my body, he lowered his lips to my nipples and I gasped, purring as he licked and tugged them. We fit together, like the pieces of a puzzle, and he slid inside me, jostling from side to side to find the right rhythm. We settled in, gently rocking, and then he picked up the pace, thrusting deep into me, liquefying my center, his cock pulsing inside me. I gasped as his hips ground against me, Shade’s fire igniting my own.
I ran my hands down his back, my nails digging in, and he flipped me, rolling with me till he was beneath me and I was straddling him. Smiling now, I slid my hands up to cup my breasts as he held my waist, his eyes glistening with delight. I rubbed my nipples, my head dropping back, feeling freer than I ever had with Chase or Zach.
“Oh yeah, that’s it,” he whispered. “Come on, baby, give it to me.” His hands slid around to hold my butt, and I moaned, suddenly out of my funk and fully in the moment. I leaned down and pressed my breasts to his chest, reveling in the feeling of his skin against mine. The scars on the side of his face and forehead gave him a rakish look. He moved his arms up to coil around my waist, holding me tight on top of him, then wrapped his legs around mine and once again, we rolled over.
Unfortunately, we had apparently been on the edge of the bed and rolled right over onto the floor with an unceremonious thump.
“Ouch!” I hit my elbow on the corner of the nightstand as we tumbled apart. As I rubbed the offended body part, Shade started to laugh.
“You’re not getting away that easy. Unless you broke your funny bone, get your ass over here.” He started crawling toward me, on hands and knees, and delighted, I flipped over so he could enter me from behind. Rear entry was my favorite position—though I wasn’t much into butt sex. I knew Camille liked it, but for me, it was a once-in-a-while treat…like rich food. Good now and then, but too much just ruined the effect for me.
As he rubbed against me, his cock sliding back inside, I peeked over my shoulder. “Oh gods, that feels so good. You can get so much deeper this way.” With Shade, talking during sex seemed natural.
He let out a chuckle. “Deep is good, baby. Definitely good. And I’m going as deep as I can, love. Up to the hilt.” As he began to thrust harder, I forgot about talking and, bracing myself on the floor with my hands, I closed my eyes as the fire grew and his hips swiveled against mine, spooning my butt as he slid in and out of my pussy.
Catching my breath, I let out a low moan. “Oh yeah, that’s it, sugar. Deeper…deeper…I can’t believe how delicious you feel inside me. Never leave me…never stop.”
“I’m here for the long haul, baby. I’m yours…and I’m not going anywhere.” And then he picked up the pace, and everything fell away in the raw heat of our passion as I came, and came again.
By the time we were dressed and headed downstairs, it was nearing eight. Iris and the others were up and in full swing. Camille looked like she had the headache from hell, and she was shoveling in the waffles and bacon like she hadn’t eaten in a week. Menolly was, of course, in bed for the day, but looking out the window, I could see Smoky, Roz, and Vanzir erecting poles for the long tents we’d be putting up for the ceremony.
Once the tents were up—pale blue awnings and walls—we’d cover them with wreaths and silver ornaments.
Iris hadn’t wanted to hold her wedding in a fancy hall. She wanted it here, at her home, with all of her friends and family attending. Bruce’s mother and father were coming in via the barrows from Ireland and she was nervous. Time to meet the in-laws. Right now, though, she was holding Maggie, rocking back and forth with a cup of tea.
Hanna and Trillian were preparing breakfast. In the past couple of months, Hanna had adapted quickly, learning to use most of the household gadgets without fear. Trillian was teaching her how to read, and she’d learned enough English that her broken speech was passable in stores. She’d thrown herself into the task, grateful to be away from Hyto’s madness, away from the unending cold and gloom that had accompanied her indentured servitude.
I sat down at the table, Shade sitting beside me, and grabbed a clean plate off the stack. I stabbed two waffles and eight slices of bacon. Shade loaded up, too, and I blinked, suddenly thinking about our monthly food bills.
