Page 76 of Souls We Rip

“Which side?” I asked, my brows knitting.

“The one you’ve lost.” Her voice softened as she spoke. Meeting my eyes, a small smile appeared on her lips. “After all, the grand Goat Man is fragile.”

I smiled. “Only in your presence, inimă”.

Her eyes turned serious on me. “I should hope so. You made me pass through hurtful things.”

“I’m sorry. I had no other way of getting to my wish.”

She scoffed. “You could have asked with kindness, Goat Man.” But she knew there was no way she would have accepted my contract even if I had begged on my knees. Ana sighed. “Is that what you want? To feel your heart beating again?”

“More than anything in the world,” I confessed, my eyes astray.

“Why did you accept to be the Goat Man in the first place?” she asked, her dark eyebrows joining. They formed a small line between them. My hand twitched as I contemplated if I should touch it.

“I don’t think I ever had another choice in joining this darkness.”

She pondered my words for a moment.

I took a deep breath, watching over my shoulder the remains of my former home. As much as I tried, there was nothing before the moment I slaughtered my family.

“Have you ever considered helping the people you’ve…” she started but cut herself off in search of words.

“Killed? Decapitated? And other painful ways of being murdered?” I suggested, raising my eyebrows. Her hand hovered next to mine as she watched them together.

“Yes," she answered, her voice shaking. “We do not think about the souls’ families. We do not try to save either of them. We just cut the evil from the root, and that is barbaric…”

My throat felt dry. “You might be right in saying that we do not save them while they are alive. Look at my servant…”

“Andrei,” she interrupted, a frown forming between her eyebrows.

“Andrei,” I repeated, “suffered in life and thrives in death.” And it was the truth. The boy was so tormented by the voices in his head that he wanted to end everything. “But the souls you’ve ripped so far, did more harm than many people you know have. And they would have continued,” I added. Taking a deep breath, I resumed my speech. “You cannot see the world only in black and white, Ana. The world is meant to be grey. Some people want to paint their life as black. Like the ones you took.”

I watched as understanding dawned on her. “And some people keep their lives as pristine as when they were born.”

“Yes, there are very few of those,” I admitted.

“Mine is white and sprinkled with grey,” she whispered, her eyes on the sun.

We stayed quiet, our hair tousled from the breeze.

My mind was still conjuring the only memory I had of my family. The feeling of blood on my feet was still vivid. Their faces were as clear then as they were when vacant gazes replaced joyful ones.

“Did you think to ask your master about how you became the Goat Man?”

I chuckled. “I became the Goat Man because I killed my family, that is clear.”

She shook her head, her hair brushing my fingertips. “I am not asking why. But how?”

“No, not entirely,” I admitted. “Most likely, the Elk saw me in his Mirror and decided to take my soul. I cannot remember anything from standing next to my siblings’ lifeless bodies and the moment I chose my skull.”

She mused on my words, her hands intertwined. “What if he did something to you?”

I turned to her, careful not to touch our noses. I barely contained myself from kissing her each time we were this close.

“What do you mean?” I clenched my fists, the wind dancing through our hair.

“You have all these powers, I suppose he is way more powerful than you,” she thought out loud in a soft voice. “Maybe he played with your mind.”