Page 36 of Just for the Season

As we fasten our seatbelts, Frankie says, ‘Sorry about this. I’m sure you had some much better ways to spend your evening, like watching paint dry or sticking pins in your eyes.’

‘Okay. That has to be your final apology.’ I realise as I speak that I didn’t really have a lot else to do this evening. I could have found something else to do, but I would have had to look for it. I mean, I have friends I could have done something with, but obviously a lot of them are coupled up and busy on a Saturday evening, plus usually I have Ruby and Sam at home, so I don’t go out that much at the weekend. And this evening I would have been home alone. ‘And, honestly, I didn’t have many better things to do. I’d probably just have been catching up on paperwork. Single dads don’t always have the most exciting social lives.’

She laughs. ‘Matches me then this evening.’

I turn to look at her as I put the car into gear, and catch the tail end of her laugh on her face. Gorgeous, objectively. A lot of people – single dads or not – could, I realise, do a lot worse than spending a Saturday evening with Frankie. Maybe I’ll gain a new friendship out of this fiasco. And in the meantime, we should make sure we do this right.

‘Okay,’ I say. ‘Since we’re doing this fake relationship, let’s do it. I’m thinking we drive slowly around pretty much every road in the village on our way to Chartfield, so that we get seen by some grapevine participants to reinforce the village’s belief in our relationship, and then we can go through all the pitfall questions we can think of.’

‘Good plan,’ Frankie says happily. ‘We’re going to be the most overprepared faux couple ever.’

I drive at a very leisurely pace back and forth around the village, without going back over any roads we’ve already covered.

Frankie starts giggling. ‘Imagine anyone out for a walk who might have seen us more than once. They’ll think we’re mad.’

‘Not mad. Just a deeply-in-love couple out for a romantic drive,’ I say.

Frankie giggles more. ‘Around their own village.’

‘Yeah. Okay, let’s go.’ I turn in the direction of Chartfield and, once we’ve left the village boundary, pick up speed.

‘Shall I call ahead and see if we can book?’ Frankie asks. ‘Is there a Thai restaurant in Chartfield? I don’t think I’ve been to one there.’

‘There is actually a very nice one, called Jade Elephant.’

‘We got their last table,’ Frankie says after calling the restaurant. ‘Clearly our preparation evening was meant to be. Okay. So. What’s your favourite film ever?’

‘You think that’s one of the most important things to know about me?’

‘I mean, obviously not the most important. But it’s a thing. We have all evening to get to know as many facts as possible about each other.’

I shake my head. ‘A lot of people don’t even have a favourite film and I think a lot of people wouldn’t know that about their partners. It’s kind of like a GCSE French oral question.’

‘I mean there’s no harm in knowing is there? I feel like favourite-film knowledge would be easy to drop into a conversation.’

‘Fair point. So what’s your favourite film?’ I ask, while I think hard to try to find one of my own.

‘Oh. Ermmmmm. Yep.’ Frankie starts to giggle again.

‘Frankie! Are you telling me you don’t have a favourite film?’

‘It’s hard. Like, there are so many good ones. How can you say what your all-time top one is?’

I shake my head, mock scolding. ‘The hypocrisy.’

‘I know. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I promise I won’t ask any more questions that I don’t have my own answer to.’

‘Favourite film genre?’ I ask.

She laughs again. ‘Still no. Although. I will say that I really hate horror films. And I get bored in all those Marvel films.’

‘Okay, so the Marvel films.’ I indicate left and turn towards the town centre. ‘They are objectively in my opinion not for adults, but when you’ve seen a lot of them, courtesy of your children, you can start to get quite invested.’

‘Really. Interesting. Hard to imagine. Do you like Star Wars too?’

‘Star Wars! Are you telling me you don’t like them?’ I’m shocked. ‘Not even the originals?’

‘Hate them all,’ she tells me cheerfully. ‘Jack forced me to watch them when he was about twelve, and I did my best, for his sake, but seriously, shoot me now if I ever have to watch another.’