Page 187 of Halo

The hot water helps until I run my fingers through my hair.

When I pull my hand away, strands are tangled between my fingers.

More than yesterday.

I do it again.

More comes out.

“No.”

I stare at my hand as water carries pieces of my hair toward the drain.

“No, no, no…”

Another handful.

My knees give out before I decide to sit, and I slide down the shower wall. I’m crying by the time the nausea comes back, turning just enough to be sick toward the drain while wet hair clings to my shoulders and hands.

The bathroom door opens.

“Leah?”

Nick pulls back the curtain, and his face changes instantly.

“Are you dizzy?”

I shake my head.

“What happened?”

I hold up my hand.

Hair hangs between my fingers.

His eyes close for half a second.

“It’s coming out.”

He shuts off the water and grabs a towel, helping me stand before wrapping it around me.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay.” I’m crying harder now. “Please don’t tell me it’s okay. It’s my hair.”

“I know.” His hands cup my face. “I know it is.”

“I hate this.”

“I know.”

“I think I want it gone.”

He studies me. “You don’t have to decide that tonight.”

“Yes, I do.” I look at the wet strands stuck to my shoulders. “I don’t want to watch it disappear a little at a time. I either want my hair or I don’t want it at all.”

He searches my face before nodding. “Okay.”