Page 114 of Septembers

They shuffled their feet at each other for a moment, neither of them wanting to make a decision that may inconvenience the other.

Jason fake-coughed in the way people do when they’re awkward as hell. “It’s getting late, and we can’t be loud anymore. That rules you out, Theo.” He had a point. Put a single drop of alcohol into Theo’s bloodstream and he was incapable of regulating the volume of his voice.

So they said their goodbyes and took a cab home instead of trudging to the subway, which was lazy, but whatever.

“Did you have fun?” Dae asked as they got into the backseat. He sounded like a parent asking their teen how the dance went.

“Yeah, you?” Theo suppressed the urge to point out that they wouldn’t have had to ask each other that question if they’d spent a single moment of the party together.

Dae nodded but didn’t elaborate.

“Did you see Jacinda?” Theo asked.

Dae nodded again. “We talked. It was nice. She seemed well.”

Nice. Well. Even their vocabulary was stilted. The cab arrived, and they climbed the stairs in silence. Dae held the door, then they hung their jackets side-by-side. The tense silence was unbearable until Dae broke it, moving towards the kitchen. “Do you want something to eat?”

Theo’s phone buzzed before he could answer.

#1 Client Extraordinaire

TALK. TO. HIM.

Tell him how you fell

feel

Let love win tonigt

LET LOVE WIN

“Theo?” Dae was standing in front of the open fridge, the light casting a soft yellow glow on his beautiful face. “Do you want some⁠—”

“No, Dae.” Shit. He hadn’t meant for that to come out so harsh.

The light on his face disappeared as he shut the door. “Okay. Do you want to sleep together tonight, or…”

Theo hated that the question even had to be asked. He hated how nervous Dae sounded, and hated that he desperately wanted to say yes, but didn’t know if he was allowed.

“Um, whatever you want.”

Dae buffered, just like he used to in those first few years, his face freezing and his body going still. Theo didn’t interfere with his processing; he just waited until he saw movement, some blinking, then a nod. “I mean, whatever you wan⁠—”

“Dae.” It came out of him without warning. He couldn’t take it anymore. Talk to him. Be honest. Let love win. “Am I doing something wrong?”

“What?” He took half a step towards him. “No, of course not.”

“Then why did you avoid me tonight?”

“I wasn’t—I mean, I wanted to show you that I wouldn’t be clingy, that you wouldn’t always have to babysit me.”

A frustrated grunt barrelled out of Theo’s chest. “Why do you keep saying that? I never feel like I’m babysitting you. I like having you near me. Be clingy, Dae. I don’t mind. No, that’s not even the right…I mean, I want you to.”

He shook his head. “Jason said I shouldn’t crowd you, that I should let you set the pac⁠—”

“Jason?” What the fuck was happening? Theo thought they were on the same page, he’d thought they’d both taken the leap into whatever this was, but instead Dae was…what? Having strategy sessions with their friend? “You’re talking to him about us?”

Dae froze like he’d messed up. “No, I—well, yes.” He spoke so fast Theo almost didn’t understand him. “I didn’t know what to do, Theo. I don’t want to scare you off.”