Page 20 of Crash’s Secret

She’s sitting on the edge of the bed in a T-shirt and shorts, and she’s crying. Her hands come up to her face, wiping the tears, like she can hide what’s happening.

“The only man in this club stupid enough to barge into the Prez’s sister’s room is you.” She’s up off the bed, arm out, pointing at the hallway. “Get out.”

I shut the door. From the inside.

“That’s the opposite of out.”

“You’re crying.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m aware.” She drags the heel of her hand across one cheek, chin up, daring me to mention it again. “What do you want, Crash?”

“What happened?” I stay by the door because if I reach for her, she’ll only push me away. “I’m asking straight, no jokes. The ridge was the best night of my life, and I’m including the night I got patched. Everything was good. Better than good. And now you’re obviously mad at me… and crying. So what happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“Cassidy.”

“Nothing happened that you didn’t warn me about.” She wraps her arms around herself.

“Do you regret it?”

She takes her time with the answer. “Yes.”

I’ve been hit with fists, bottles, and I was even shot once. None of them compares.

“Why?”

“Because I told you, Crash.” Her eyes are wet and furious at the same time. “Up on that ridge, I told you I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. You told me you don’t make promises to women. You were honest. You’re always honest—it’s your whole trick. Nobody gets to be mad at the man who warned them.” She laughs, and it’s the saddest sound I’ve ever heard come out of her. “I had sex with you. I’m a grown woman. That part’s on me. But then you said it.”

“Said what?” I’m so confused.

“Right now, I only want tonight.” She throws my words back at me. “And I sat there on your bike with your cut on my shoulders, realizing what that meant. I got the exact speech you give all the women you fuck. I’m no different.” Her chin trembles once, and she locks it down. “Congratulations. You were honest with me, too. So I have no right to be upset.”

“Cassidy, those words… That is not what I meant.”

“It’s what you said.”

“I know what it sounded like.” I stop. “Cass. Look at me. You want to know what I meant?”

“I know what you meant.”

“You don’t. Please listen.”

That stops her.

“You asked about tomorrow. But tomorrow, I have to figure out how to tell Saber,” I say. “Tomorrow I have to work out how I look my best friend in the eye. Tomorrow there’s club business, and a war that’s coming whether anybody says so or not. Being with you comes with more complications than anything I have ever wanted. I’ve spent thirty-one years only wanting things that come easy. That’s the whole design of my life. Nothing I can’t walk away from.” I cross the room now. “And up on that ridge, I had one perfect thing in my hands. One. And I didn’t want to spend a minute of that time problem-solving. I wasn’t telling you tonight is all you get. I was telling you tonight was too good to share with tomorrow.”

She searches my face for the lie. She won’t find one.

“That’s not how it sounded,” she says, and there’s less hostility in it.

I sit down next to her on the bed. “Yeah. I’m getting that.”

She turns toward me, and I shift so I face her. Her hands come up and close in the front of my shirt, to push me off or hold me there, I don’t think she’s decided. “I need you to be honest. No flirting. No telling me what I want to hear. What do you want, Crash?”

“You.”

“Why?”