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“Listen to me, and listen good. You blamed me for killing my sire. And I did. But you chose the turning. I didn’t have a choice. I was tortured and scarred all over my body. I screamed so loud I lost my voice. Dredge raped me to the point of where he ripped my genitals. And then, he forced the turning on me and sent me home to kill my family. I didn’t have a choice, so don’t you ever judge me again.”
After a moment, she glanced at me. “I wasn’t told the details. I’m sorry. Nobody should ever be forced to make the transition. I was wrong to judge you. But you judge me. Do you want to know why I made the choice?”
“If you want to tell me.”
“I was dying. I developed Spindle’s Fever. There is no cure, and it’s a painful, fatal disease. I wasn’t ready to die. I had so much to live for, and Queen Asteria trusted me. I talked to her about it. The only possibility for me was to make the change. She agreed, and called in Mama Raleesha, who agreed to sire me. And so, before the disease did any further damage to me, I died and was reborn.”
Spindle’s Fever was a wasting disease, and it mostly struck those who used magic. Nobody knew what brought it on, and though it was rare, it was feared among sorcerers and witches. Camille had mentioned it once or twice, but any worries she had about it she kept to herself.
“I guess…I can see why you made the choice.” I liked to think I wouldn’t choose the same path if I were in her shoes, but until you faced the fire, you never knew what you’d do. So I kept my judgment to myself.
Shade stopped and motioned for us to do the same. “The cave is through this patch of woods and a little ways beyond. The path winds around in front of it, and on up the mountain. Get ready.”
Vanzir and Smoky moved up next to us. Vanzir pulled out his whistle and made sure it was fastened around his neck. “The degas can be attacked physically, unlike the bhouts, but they are strong and dangerous. Try the whistles first, to disarm them and make them easier to attack. But sound alone isn’t going to take them out, so be prepared for one hell of a fight.”
I glanced at the path. “Let’s go. And Charlotine—you may have faced some nasty things in the past, but make no mistake, these are demons, and they won’t give you a chance. Don’t give them any opening.”
She held my gaze a moment. “Right.”
And so, Shade and I at the front, Charlotine and Vanzir behind us, and Smoky bringing up the back, we moved in.
We approached the cave off-path, shrouded by the undergrowth. The ground was soggy and wet, spongy with forest debris. The constant drip of the rain off the tree limbs set up an odd cadence, and I was grateful for it, because it would help mask any sounds we made.
As we reached the border of the undergrowth where it cleared out into a small opening around a cave, we edged in, watching. There was activity there; we could see it and feel it.
Charlotine leaned in. “Do you want me to scout it out? I’m good at bat form.”
I frowned. I wasn’t good at taking any form, and I envied vamps who could. “Fine, go. But don’t do anything except look. Get back here in under ten minutes.”
She shifted, effortlessly, and flew up and out into the night. As I watched her, something in me responded to the transformation and I found myself wanting to shift, too. But that was crazy. I never had the urge, and when I did, my results were less than spectacular.
But the urging became stronger and I tugged on Smoky’s arm. “Listen, I’m feeling pulled to change shape.”
“You don’t do that.” Smoky frowned at me.
“I know, that’s why I’m telling you.”
“Do you want to try, while we’re waiting for her to return?” Smoky gave me a quizzical look.
I scratched my head. The tingling was stronger. “Yeah. I won’t do anything stupid, but I want to give it a go.” I stepped back, giving myself room to focus on shifting. It had never been easy, and though I’d managed to attain bat form a couple of times, I never managed to hold it for long. And my flying powers were pathetic.>Nerissa turned to me. “Come with me, love. As long as I’m staying here tonight again, let’s take advantage of the situation. I have some things I want to talk to you about.”
That didn’t sound good. The words I want to talk to you had never prefaced a comfortable conversation as long as I’d been alive.
We said good night to the others and trailed into the parlor. Nerissa pulled off her shoes and changed into her nightgown. I pulled off my boots, relieved to have an evening where I wasn’t out chasing monsters.
She curled up with the magazine and handed it to me, opening it to a Post-it-marked page. “What do you think?”
I stared at the arrangement. White roses and purple lilies, surrounded by fern fronds. “This is beautiful. I love it. Is this what you want? Because I’d be quite happy carrying that down the aisle.”
I racked my brain, trying to think of just what aisle we’d be walking down. We could get married here at the house, if necessary, but I didn’t want that and I knew that wouldn’t be enough for Nerissa. She deserved something special and I wanted her to have it.
“Why is Iris mad at me?” I put the magazine down and leaned back, watching the second hand on the clock circle round. There were so many things in this house I never usually thought about. For instance, the clock—it had been an antique, bought from Rina’s store before the demons killed her.
How long ago it seemed that we’d first faced Bad Ass Luke, but in reality, only a year and a half had passed. But right now, it felt like a lifetime since we first discovered the demons were here, working for Shadow Wing. So much had happened since then.
“Can’t you figure it out?” Nerissa pulled her legs up into a lotus position on the sofa. She draped the blanket around her shoulders. “Iris and you have a special relationship—a special friendship. She’s terrified you’re going to be so reckless you’ll get yourself killed. And Iris doesn’t want to lose you.”
I stared at my feet, holding them out and wiggling my toes. “I didn’t think of it that way. I know what I’m doing—”
