Page 76 of The Winter Companion

“I don’t expect so. Mrs. Bainbridge says there’s no point in traveling all the way back to Devon for only a day or two.” Clara had spoken with her again last night, and with Mr. and Mrs. Archer, too. The three of them had been excessively practical about the situation. “Which brings me to a favor I must ask of you. And you mustn’t feel obligated to say yes.”

He came closer, looming over her. It should have been intimidating, but it wasn’t. Quite the reverse. She felt protected. As if his presence could somehow shield her from the cares of the world. “What is it?” he asked.

“I wonder if you might keep Bertie with you while I’m gone? I can’t take him with me. That is, I could, but it would be very hard on him.”

“Of course.” He paused. “How…how will you…?”

“Mrs. Bainbridge has promised to bring him back to Surrey with her on the train. But she’s ill-equipped to care for him while she’s here. Bertie requires constant looking after.”

“I’ll look after him.”

She managed a tremulous smile. “Thank you. I won’t forget.”

“Nor will I.” He looked down at her, gazing into her eyes for a taut moment. And then he brought his hand to her face, tracing the line of her cheek and jaw with a gentleness that bordered on reverence.

Her pulse beat an erratic rhythm at her throat. She knew what was going to happen. Just as she knew that she could stop it happening if she wished it. All she need do was pull back from him or voice an objection. But she found herself incapable of doing either.

Instead, she listed against him. And when he bent his head and kissed her, her lips softened beneath his, yielding to his mouth with a sensual warmth she hadn’t known herself capable of.

“Clara,” he said. It was a murmured breath of enquiry. As if he was asking permission to continue

In answer, she twined her arms about his neck. Her heavy skirts bunched against his legs as she stretched up to brush her lips to his.

He responded instantly, enfolding her in a powerful embrace. Holding her so tightly that the bones in her corset gave a creak of protest. And he kissed her again. A deep, soul-stirring kiss, as passionate as it was poignant.

She felt the heat of it thrumming in her veins. It weakened her knees and limbs, forcing her to cling to him almost desperately. Like some poor shipwrecked soul clinging to a rock. The only solid and dependable thing in a stormy world.

He was saying goodbye to her.

And suddenly, she could no longer hold back the tears that stung at her eyes. She pressed her face into his neck.

His breath was heavy against her hair. He moved his hand over the curve of her spine, up and down in a slow, reassuring caress. Long seconds passed.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“I’m not.”

“Clara…”

“I mean it.” She drew back, her damp eyes finding his. “I only wish we had more time together.”

He rested his forehead gently against hers. And the emotion imbued in that single gesture was so sweet, so tender, she felt she might drown in it. That she might lose herself entirely.

Until he spoke.

“I have nothing to offer you,” he said.

Her hands slid from his neck. She stood there, frozen, as he released her from his arms and moved away from her. “I haven’t asked anything of you. I wouldn’t.”

“You d-don’t understand.” He ran a hand over his hair. “I c-can’t ever leave here. I’m…” His throat worked on a swallow. “There’s n-no future with me.”

The bare wooden floor seemed to shift beneath Clara’s feet, like the deck of a ship. She reached behind her to grip the windowsill. “Yes, I see.”

But she didn’t see at all.

All she knew was that she’d done it once more. Despite his professions of admiration, and her abundance of caution. Despite everything she’d been guarding against these past four years. Somehow, she’d managed to make an idiot of herself again.

She turned briefly to dash a tear from her cheek. “I’ve been very foolish.”