Page 104 of Kylie

I fought the urge to pull away, fearful that if I did, she wouldn’t let me hold her anymore. I glanced over her at Travis, who was on his back, staring up at the ceiling. I waited for him to respond, to address her asinine comment. It took a moment, but he finally did.

“Why would you say that?”

“That way y’all don’t have to sneak downstairs to have sex.”

Travis turned his head, his eyes meeting mine briefly before he turned his attention to Kylie. “You were asleep.”

I felt her tense. “That never would’ve stopped you … before.”

And now everyone tensed.

Travis turned fully, facing Kylie. “But it’s not … before.”

“No, it’s not,” she said on a rough exhale.

I inched in closer, holding her tighter, wanting her to know we were there for her. I wasn’t sure what to say, or whether saying anything would help matters. I’d picked up on her discomfort the past couple of days. It was weird for all of us, but this was merely an adjustment period. It would take time for things to get back to normal. Whatever that looked like.

“Do you want it to be?” Travis prompted. “To go back to the way it was before?”

Silence filled the space for a minute, maybe two, before Kylie finally answered.

“I want to stop feelin’ like I’m a stranger in your house.”

“First of all, it’s our house,” I inserted. “It’s always been our house.”

“Not so much when you disposed of my things,” she said, her tone biting.

She had a point there. One that no one could argue, even if we all knew the reason why. We had thought she was dead. And we’d dealt with that in the only way we knew how. It had taken time, a lot of time, for us to accept that she was gone.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Ignore me. I’m bein’ stupid. I know it. Deep down, I know it. But…”

I waited for her to finish, but she didn’t. Because I understood her frustration to a degree, I simply held her, and when Travis moved closer, his arm sliding beneath her head, we cocooned her between us as we had so many times before. And for the first time in a long time, a sense of peace washed over me.

Normal was a good way off, but we would get there. I had faith.

Chapter Forty-Two

Wednesday, October 19, 2022

Kylie

As had become my routine these past couple of weeks, I woke up, showered, got dressed, then made my way downstairs.

Unlike before, I rarely found Travis or Gage still in bed with me. They had busy lives and routines of their own that they’d clearly gotten familiar with. Like before, Travis had an alarm clock. It was set to go off at 5:57 a.m. It was a Type A thing, I think. He claimed the random time was supposed to confuse the brain. Anyway. I wasn’t sure that was the case, but he was always up and out of bed before the hands on the grandfather clock downstairs became one, splitting the clock face in half.

Gage was never far behind, crawling out of bed a little bit slower, but still getting up within a few minutes of the alarm.

In my former life, I had gotten up with them most of the time. These days, it didn’t make sense. There was nothing for me to do. I had tried, but I found myself getting in the way of their morning prep work. They had it down to a science. Travis showered while Gage started the coffee and made lunches for Kate, Kade, and Avery. Then Travis would appear in the kitchen while Gage headed upstairs for his turn under the hot water. Travis would pour his first cup of coffee while he got out bowls, spoons, and cereal boxes so the kids could get breakfast first thing.

On the couple of mornings I had gone down, I’d felt like I was watching them through a window. Neither of them seemed to realize I was there. The routine was so ingrained that they didn’t notice life was going on around them. And since I wasn’t part of their morning routine anymore, I stopped bothering to go down.

This morning wasn’t any different. By the time I came out of the bedroom, I heard Kate moving around in her room while Kade was in the bathroom and Avery was running to the game room to find something. She was always losing things. Her shoes, her hair scrunchy, her favorite Hello Kitty watch. She always found them quickly, but there was often a mad rush during the hunt.

While they got dressed to go downstairs for breakfast, I started down the back stairs, hoping to join Travis and Gage for a cup of coffee before they dashed out the door with the kids in tow.

“It’s fine,” I heard Gage telling Travis when I was halfway down. “I’ll stay with him today. I can get Kaleb to fill in for me. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“God knows you’ve filled in for him plenty,” Travis said.