Page 110 of Kylie

“You ask them if you can help?”

I nodded. “Sometimes. I don’t want to intrude. They’ve got a routine, and it works for them.”

“When you talk about them, it sounds like you’re keeping yourself separated. Them versus you. But you want to be part of that routine?”

I met her gaze and took a deep breath. “I want to be part of them. I want to be part of their lives. Their day-to-day. I want to get my kids ready for school. I want to help them with their homework. I want to steal time with Travis and watch movies with Gage. I want to sneak into the shower with one of my husbands when they least expect it.” I swallowed hard. “I want them to see me, Dr. Briggs. All of them. I want them to stop lookin’ at me like I’m not really there.”

“You mentioned you’ve been home for twenty days. Do you think that’s been enough time for everyone to get over what happened?”

I stared at her, shocked by the question. “Of course not. That’s less than three weeks. I was gone for almost two years. I’m not sayin’ anyone should get over it; I just want things to go back to normal.”

“And you believe the same definition of normal from before applies to now?”

“Normal’s normal,” I muttered, although it was a defiant answer, not something I believed in the slightest.

“Do you really believe that?”

I sat there for a moment, wiping my eyes, trying to get myself under control. I breathed in deep, letting it out slowly. If this was going to work, I needed to be honest. With Dr. Briggs and with myself.

“No. I don’t. I know nothing will be the same ever again.”

“I’m not sure that’s true,” she said, her tone gentle, reassuring.

At least I heard something that made me hopeful. “What do you mean?”

“I think normal is a relative term. Before you were taken, before you suffered unimaginably, your life was good, was it not?”

“Yes.”

“But it wasn’t perfect.”

“Of course not. No one’s life is.”

“But it was a version that you see as being better than this one.”

“Yes. No.” I shrugged. “Not necessarily.”

Dr. Briggs didn’t speak, but I could tell she was waiting for me to elaborate.

“I like what I see when I’m in that house with them. I like the way they interact with each other. Travis and Gage have done a good job raisin’ them. And they’ve done right by each other.”

“In what way?”

“They’re close. All of them.”

“Tragedy tends to bring people closer.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“Do you?”

“After my mother disappeared, my relationship with my sister and father changed. We grew closer, depended on each other more.”

“Where did your mother go?”

“I have no idea. She up and left one day. We didn’t hear from her again.”

“Is she alive?”