Page 137 of Kylie

“How can you ask that? Of course it bothers me. My mother left us. She walked away from her life. Then she went and had a kid with someone else. She never called, never sent cards. She abandoned us so she could have a baby with a kid I went to school with. So yeah. It pisses me off that she could do that to us. That she didn’t care enough to…”

“To what?”

I shrugged, not wanting to talk about this. I felt enough guilt for avoiding the investigation when there was a good chance Cicily Rose was chained to the floor in some shit hole like I had been.

“Kylie?”

While Dr. Briggs didn’t probe deeper with questions, I knew she was expecting an answer. She had told me in the beginning that talking about my feelings was part of the healing process. It definitely was, but this was a subject I didn’t want to revisit. Ever.

“My mother didn’t care enough to stay. She didn’t love us enough to be in our lives. She ran away.”

“Did she tell you this is what happened?”

I shook my head. “I haven’t talked to her.”

“You mentioned seeing her at the park.”

“Yeah. I haven’t talked to her since. I’m not sure I want to. Not yet.” I met her gaze. “I want to focus on myself, on my kids and my husbands before I try to deal with someone else’s problems.”

“Speaking of the kids? How have they been this past week?”

Clearly she knew that I wanted to change the subject, and I appreciated that she did. Oh, I knew we would eventually make it back around to this topic, but it wouldn’t be today.

I took a deep breath. “Kade’s still keepin’ his distance, but he’s not quite so standoffish. He offered me his pancakes the other day. Said he wanted to make sure I had enough to eat.”

“That sounds like progress. He’s resorting to taking care of you.”

I nodded. “That’s what it felt like. At least he wasn’t pushin’ me away.”

“And the others?”

“My bond with Maddox is gettin’ stronger.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I am. He was just a baby when I left.” I looked down at my lap.

“You didn’t leave, Kylie.”

“They think I did.”

“But you didn’t. You need to remember that. Your absence was not your choosing. Do you feel like it was?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.” I looked up. “At first I didn’t. Now… Sometimes I feel like it because that’s how they see it.”

“They who? The kids? Travis and Gage?”

“The kids. Mostly Kade and Avery.”

“Not Haden or Kate?”

“No. Kate understands.” I exhaled. “She understands in a way I wish she didn’t.”

“Because she was kidnapped.”

“Yeah.” I hated thinking about that. It didn’t matter how much time passed, a knot of fear still formed when I reflected on the most terrifying moment of my life. The day my daughter disappeared during a school field trip.

“Why do you think Kade and Avery believe you chose to leave?”