Page 139 of Kylie

I remembered leaning back against the wall, processing Kade’s words. Travis and Gage had already told me it had been a closed-casket funeral, which was why no one had realized I wasn’t dead. And Kade was right. If they had opened that casket…

Dragging myself back to the present, I turned my attention to Dr. Briggs, realizing she had asked a question.

“I’m sorry. What was that?”

“You mentioned Avery. Did something happen with her that makes you believe she blames you?”

And to think that I was prepared to have a good session when I showed up here today. Apparently, that wasn’t going to be the case.

“Last week, she woke up in the middle of the night. I got up to help her back to bed.” I swallowed hard, recalling the painful memory.

“Avery, honey, let’s get back to bed. It’s still nighttime.”

“Where’s my dads?”

“They’re asleep. But I’ll help you.”

“I want my dads.”

“Can we let them sleep? I can help you back into bed. I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”

“You won’t stay. You never do. I want my dads.”

“She was so insistent,” I told Dr. Briggs.

“How did that make you feel?”

“Her words stabbed at me. Made me feel like a terrible mother.”

“You felt responsible for how she feels?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I am responsible.” I held her stare. “I wasn’t there.”

“You would’ve been if Martin Calloway hadn’t kept you locked up.”

“Damn right I would.”

“So how is it your fault?”

I took a deep breath, exhaled heavily as I leaned against the back of the couch. I knew what she was getting at. She insisted that I acknowledge that my actions weren’t my own. And she was right.

“It wasn’t,” I admitted. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Rationally, I know that.” I rubbed my fingers on the hem of my shirt. “Lookin’ back, I find myself tryin’ to determine how I could’ve gotten away.”

“And what do you come up with?”

“Nothin’. I would’ve gotten out if I could have,” I insisted.

“I believe you. This week, I’d like you to focus on that. When you feel like the kids are doubting the reason behind your absence, think about what you could’ve done differently. If you come up with something, we’ll talk about it at our next session. But something tells me you won’t.”

No, I wouldn’t. Because if there’d been even a sliver of a chance I could’ve escaped, there was no doubt in my mind that I would have.