Page 93 of Kylie

Gage nodded. “I went by there a couple of times, convinced I was strong enough to clear it out, but I wasn’t. So it’s there. Collecting dust while I pay it monthly.”

I wasn’t sure what to say to that.

“Are you mad?”

That got me on my feet. “Why would I be mad?”

“Because I was supposed to be stronger than that.”

It pained me that he thought so. Back when Kylie first … when we thought she was gone, neither of us had been strong. And we’d hurt each other in the process. It had taken some time, and though I wouldn’t say we’d moved past it, we had found a new normal that worked for us. It got us through the day, anyway.

“Well, I ordered her a new cell phone,” I told Gage. “And tomorrow, we’ll get some people over there to clear out the storage and bring it here. That work for you?”

“You think she’ll even want it?”

I did. Well, she may not want the items, but I think it would help her to know Gage hadn’t been able to part with her stuff because he hadn’t been able to let go. She might’ve been out of sight, but she had never been out of mind.

“I do,” I answered. “Once we get it back here, she can go through it and pick out what she wants to keep. We’ll take the rest to Goodwill together.”

Gage smiled, but it was definitely forced.

I walked over and put my arms around him, pulling him against me. His arms came around me and we held each other.

“I missed her so fucking much,” Gage whispered.

I felt the tremor that moved through him and understood how he felt. I was relieved that she was home, but at the same time, I was terrified that I would either wake up to find this had all been a dream or the other shoe would drop and she would be taken away from me again.

The emotional chaos was intense, and until that storm subsided, we had no choice but to brace for impact.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Friday, October 7, 2022

Gage

As was the case when there was a house full of kids, chaos ensued by the second day Kylie was home.

And chaos was the theme of the day if the yelling and arguing were anything to go by. As usual, the kids couldn’t seem to agree on anything—what to have for breakfast, what to watch on TV, what craft to work on, what to eat for lunch. And so on and so on.

It probably didn’t help that they had been home for two days and were officially outside of their normal routine. With the exception of Kate, the newness of Kylie’s return had worn off, and their energy level had ramped up. Since we had kept them home from school so they could spend some time with their mother, they were quickly getting on each other’s nerves.

That wasn’t to say that all of them were accepting Kylie’s presence as a positive. With the exception of Kate, who had practically been molded to her mother’s side whenever we were in the house, the others were a bit standoffish. Kade was keeping his distance, skeptical that he could trust what was going on. Avery was keeping one eye on Kylie at all times, probably wondering when she would disappear again. Haden wasn’t necessarily staying away from her, but rather treating her like a friend who was visiting. And Maddox … well, he was quiet as usual. He seemed to have a connection with his mother that the others didn’t, but he, too, was still uncertain.

Not that I was worried about their reactions. This homecoming was likely a shock to their systems. They’d lost their mother. One minute she was there, then she was gone. And she’d stayed gone for so long, some of that loss had begun to dissipate, and a new normal had been created. Suddenly thrust right back into the emotional storm, they probably weren’t sure what to think or do.

“All right, hold up,” I said sternly, interrupting their most recent argument: which coloring book they got to use.

Kade and Avery looked up at me, eyes wide. Maddox peered on as though he didn’t have a care in the world. And he probably didn’t. He was our chill baby. Haden took the opportunity to steal the coloring book he wanted right out of Kade’s hands.

Which incited another argument.

Grinding my molars together, I looked up at the ceiling and prayed for patience. I was on my fifteenth deep breath when Travis walked into the kitchen. He whistled once and suddenly everything was silent.

“That’s enough.”

“But—”

“I said that’s enough. Kade, Avery, I talked to Pop. He’s gonna swing by and pick you up.”