Page 23 of See My Words

Scott clicked the touchpad to pause the show. “It helps to see that they’re so happy, so well cared for.” He turned a questioning glance on Rylan. “You said you wouldn’t filter the ones of Heather out, but so far there aren’t any.”

“Those come later. That first year, well, I didn’t feel much like taking pictures of anything. Things were—not good.”

An anguished look flitted over Scott’s face. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice barely audible, and Rylan reached over and put his hand on Scott’s thigh.

“I know. And it wasn’t just because of you. Heather was a train wreck no matter how you look at it. My dad wasn’t equipped to handle a ready-made family with so much baggage attached to it. I—” He blinked back the sudden tears that sprang to his eyes.

“You were left juggling all the pieces.” Scott threaded their fingers together. “Because I left you alone to deal with everything.” He gestured at the computer screen with his free hand. “But look at them. You did an amazing job, Rylan. You’re amazing.”

Rylan blotted his eyes with the back of his wrist. “Don’t give me all the credit. I wasn’t alone, Scott. I had Donna and Gabriel. My dad.” He fingered the scar at his cheek. “Yeah, things got messy and ugly for a while, but we all got through it.”

“Because you stick things out and don’t run like a coward.”

Before Rylan could answer, Scott went on, “You think the boys would like to hear from me?” His voice held a thread of defensiveness, as if he was afraid of the answer.

Rylan squeezed his leg. “I think they’d love it,” he answered truthfully. “They missed you terribly.”

Scott slumped, the defensiveness draining away as quickly as it had appeared. “I used to wonder if anyone even noticed I was gone, or if it was just one big relief.”

“No one was relieved, Scott. The boys cried themselves to sleep every night. I was obsessed with finding you.”

Scott glanced at him. “You—looked for me?”

“My dad and I spent weeks trying to find you, but there was only so much we could do since the police refused to get involved.” He told Scott about confronting Tanner and the bus station clerk.

Scott gave a disgusted snort. “I never went to the fuckin’ bus station. Did Joel”—he spat the name—“tell you that?”

“Yes.”

Scott pushed away from him and stood, clasping his hands behind his neck as he began to pace. “Lyin’ son of a bitch.”

“What happened with him? Will you tell me?”

Scott stopped pacing, his face hard as granite. “He abandoned me at a truck stop in Texas a week after I left with him.”

“What?” Rylan gasped, covering his mouth. “Abandoned you? Why? You said you were going to California with him!”

Scott’s lips twisted. “He said he would drive me to California so I could model, get parts in movies. I was gonna work for his sister in exchange for room and board.”

Rylan could only sit there, eyes wide.

“Told him upfront I didn’t have no money for the trip, and he said we could work somethin’ out.” Scott’s accent was thickening, the words sounding guttural. “I was proud of the money I took from you that night, Rylan, ’cause I thought that meant I could pay my own way. Two hundred bucks seemed like a fuckin’ fortune to me, a dude who ain’t never had more than ten bucks in his pocket before.”

He started pacing again.

“Well, a few tanks of gas, a few days’ worth of meals, and of course it was gone. I was worried, but he gently reminded me I had other options for payin’ my way.” His voice grew flat. “So…yeah. He fucked me every chance he got.”

“Jesus.”

Scott gave a harsh laugh. “It wasn’t bad. I was young, horny, and what we were doin’ felt real good. It wasn’t rape, Rylan. He never forced me.”

“He may not have forced you,” Rylan said, fighting to suppress the fury bubbling through him, “but he was taking advantage of you, keeping you vulnerable and giving you no choice but to have sex with him in order to survive. That’s coercion.”

Scott shrugged, but his eyes held an emptiness that tore at Rylan’s insides. “Right before we got to the truck stop, he got a phone call from some woman. I could tell he was upset, and he kept sayin’ stuff about a funeral up in Idaho. I guess he thought I was asleep, ’cause I heard him whisper ‘I love you, baby,’ and ‘I’m in Texas, but I’ll be there as soon as I can.’”

He clenched his fists. “At the truck stop, he pulled up to a gas pump and gave me twenty dollars to go in and get us some snacks, said we’d really need to bust our asses gettin’ to California because somethin’ just came up. I didn’t wanna get out of the car, but I—I did. So fuckin’ stupid. I didn’t even get inside the little store before he took off.”

He didn’t resist when Rylan grabbed his hand, pulling him down to sit next to him on the couch, where he stared unseeing at the floor.