Page 50 of See My Words

“No. Let it play out,” Rylan said wearily, watching Chris open the hatchback and take out a small duffle and his camera bag. “I just hate that he’s dragged Chris into it. He doesn’t deserve this.”

“But what the actual fuck?” Minh’s voice was high and squeaky.

“Let it play out, Minh,” Rylan repeated softly. “He’s hurting, he’s insecure, and he’s trying to show me he knows what’s best for me, which in his mind will never be him.”

“But what are you gonna do? About Chris? It’d serve that idiot right if he had to watch you with him all weekend long!”

“I won’t use Chris to get back at him, no matter how fucking furious I am at that—that asshole right now.” He clutched his hair. “Goddamn him to hell.” He sucked deep breaths in through his nose. “Can you greet Chris for me? I need to go calm down.”

Minh kissed his cheek. “On it, baby. Go take a breather. There’s another small deck off the downstairs office. I’ll keep Chris busy in here. Go.”

Chris was already headed up the walkway toward the front door, so Rylan darted down the short hallway to the office, slipped inside, and pulled the pocket doors closed behind him before sinking down into the large leather chair that sat behind a mahogany desk.

Jesus fucking Christ, Scott! Rylan resisted the urge to pound his fist on the shiny desk. Why can’t you ever trust me? Or, more importantly, yourself?

He sat back, taking deep breaths, the fury slowly dissipating. He could hear voices coming from the kitchen as Minh greeted Chris and invited him in, the clinking of mugs as he offered him coffee.

If only Scott could see himself the way Rylan saw him…strong, resourceful, resilient. Being abandoned at a busy truck stop in the middle of a faraway state would have had Rylan curling up in a little ball and crying like a baby. He would have called the cops, called a hotline—called his dad.

Rylan heaved a ragged sigh. And that’s what it came down to, wasn’t it? His dad would have rushed to the rescue, or arranged for someone else to, and he would have hugged and kissed him, shed a few tears, probably gotten mad as hell, but underneath it all, Rylan would have known his dad loved him and was beyond relieved he was safe. What would it be like to only expect ridicule and put-downs and taunts when he was already hurting and scared?

Oh, Scott.

Rylan put his head down on his arms, trying to get hold of his emotions. Why would Scott have trusted either Rylan or Bob back then, when he hadn’t had reason to trust anyone his whole entire life? After finding himself vulnerable and in a terrible situation, he did what he’d always done—he’d handled it. In a messy, dangerous, and scary way, but he’d handled it. And he’d survived.

Rylan could hear the rumble of voices outside the office doors as Minh took Chris on a tour of the cabin. He knew what Scott’s game was. Throw Chris in Rylan’s path, hurtfully downplay their own relationship to that of “casual” fuck buddies, and wait for Rylan to lash out at him by jumping into bed with Chris at the earliest opportunity.

Then Scott could walk away, the injured party, his pride intact. After all, it was easier to handle anger than sadness, wasn’t it? Anger was familiar, and safe—rejection and abandonment were to be avoided at all costs.

Well, fuck that shit. Rylan wasn’t playing. He stood and moved to open the pocket doors, taking a deep breath before heading into the kitchen where Minh and Chris were laughing together about something.

“Hey, Ry.”

Rylan’s resolve wavered a little when he saw how Chris’s striking gray eyes lit up at the sight of him and a happy smile spread across his face. Being around Chris was uncomplicated, stress-free. They had a ton in common, endless subjects to talk about. Chris made him laugh, and the air between them pulsed with a pleasant chemistry that made Rylan’s skin tingle. It would be so nice to just—

Rylan moved readily into Chris’s arms to accept his warm hug of greeting. Chris squeezed him tight. “I was so happy to get Scott’s message that you wanted me to come up for the weekend. I thought you and he—well, never mind.” He leaned in to kiss Rylan just as Scott strode into the kitchen.

“Chris, you made it!” Scott’s voice was a little too hearty as he came forward to shake Chris’s hand.

“Thanks for the invite, Scott. I’m thrilled to be here.”

“Don’t mention it. I figured Rylan would be bored stiff this weekend, no one to hike and photograph with.” Scott grabbed Minh and pulled him against his side, ignoring Minh’s glower at the blatant lie. “This one doesn’t really enjoy hiking, and I couldn’t care less about photography myself.”

Chris turned to Rylan, obviously pleased. “Ry, you don’t know this, but I’m a total history buff. I’ve long been fascinated by the thought of the ancient Native American ruins up here, and I’d love to tour them with you. This is a wonderful opportunity for me to indulge myself.” He turned to Scott. “Thank you for opening up your home to me, too.”

“You’re more than welcome. Well, I was about to take off, go for a run. Rylan can show you around, help you pick out a bedroom.” He gave them a suggestive wink, a pained look crossing his face as Minh elbowed him hard in the side. Scott turned to him with determined cheerfulness. “Wanna come with me, leave these two alone for a while?”

Minh rolled his eyes. “No fucking way. This girl headin’ to town to do some shopping!” He struck a pose, holding out his hand. “Car keys?”

Scott glared at him, jerking his head toward a small basket sitting on a table by the door. “Right there.” He clapped Chris on the shoulder as he passed and waved to Rylan. “See ya guys later.”

The door banged shut behind him, and there was a short silence before Minh said, “Well. I’m going to get dressed, and I was serious about heading into Sedona. You two interested?”

Rylan shook his head at Chris’s inquiring look. “Later, Minh, okay?” he said quietly. “Chris drove all the way up here, so what we’re gonna do is hike out and look at some ruins. Maybe talk a little.”

Minh’s dark eyes were full of understanding as he looked between the two of them. “Of course. I’ll pick up steaks and all my favorite fixins at Whole Foods on the way back so we can grill out tonight, if that sounds good.”

“That sounds awesome, Minh,” Rylan said sincerely. “Chris? Steaks, wine, and hot tub after our hike?”