Page 62 of Loving a Warrior

Matt raked his fingers over and over through the sand, tension in every line of his body. “I lived up to my end of the bargain, but then he hit me with the college thing. At the time I thought it was so I’d have something to fall back on in case I washed out of BUD/S, which pissed me off because I didn’t intend to fail.”

His voice was tight with remembered anger, so Shane took a chance and put his hand on Matt’s upper back, rubbing his palm slowly over the bunched muscle. “But that’s not why?”

Matt shrugged. “Part of it, sure. But mostly he wanted to see if I’d learned my lesson, how I behaved when someone wasn’t watching my every move. Looking back, college was my first SEAL training evolution, Shane, and I failed. Within a year my grades were in the toilet. I spent every weekend drunk, didn’t think I could have a good time unless I got wasted. I cut classes, turned in subpar work because there wasn’t anyone holding me accountable. Basically I was an immature, irresponsible asshole.”

Weren’t we all, though, Soup? Weren’t we all so stupid, and naïve, and trusting?

“It was fun and games until I left a party and ended up crashing into a parked car at twenty miles an hour. Broke my nose, split my eyebrow open. Spent the night in the ER for observation, then was booked into the county jail. I was nineteen, so that meant I now had a record.”

His heart aching for him, Shane ran his hand up to the back of Matt’s neck and squeezed, just listening.

“The worst moment of my life was having to call my uncle and tell him what happened, that after all he’d done for me I’d fucked it up anyway. He was quiet for a long time, his disappointment just radiating through the phone to punch me right in the gut. He said he’d have to call me back and hung up.”

“I can imagine that was another long night.”

“Oh, no, he let me stew for three days. Finally he called and laid it out for me. Grades had to go up. I had to finish my court-ordered community service and put in at least ten volunteer hours a week on top of that. I had to give him and my dad online access to my bank account so they could track where every cent of my money was going. If I did all that, and I finished strong and earned my degree, he’d call in a few favors to make sure I got accepted into the BUD/S pipeline, arrest record or no. The rest of it was up to me.”

He looked over at Shane. “Since the night of my wreck I haven’t touched another drop of alcohol and I never will. I refuse to let my Uncle Rick down or make him regret calling in those favors.”

He fell silent, reclining back on his elbows with a grunt.

After a moment, Shane lay down on his side next to him and propped his head in his hand. “Do you think I’m an asshole?”

Matt stared at him, his eyes widening almost comically. “Is this a trick question?”

“No, I’m serious. Do you think I’m an over-protective jerk? After Alexis lost Jon—” Shane couldn’t help but tense as he waited for Matt to charge into the opening he’d just given him. He wasn’t ready to talk about this, not now, and especially not with someone who’d eventually disappear from his life. No fucking way.

He blew out an unobtrusive breath when all Matt said was, “I don’t think you give her nearly enough credit, but as you’ve pointed out numerous times, I don’t know the story here. I do know that SEAL women are pretty fucking tough.” He snickered. “My Aunt Lillian is a force of nature.”

Shane closed his eyes briefly. “Well, the thing is, she’s tough, but being with Jon almost broke her. I can’t stand by and watch the same thing happen again. I can’t.”

“I get it.” Matt turned on his side to face him. “And no, I don’t think you’re an asshole.” He paused. “Are you still pissed at me?”

“Well, I was until about an hour ago. But no, not anymore.”

Matt bristled. “Why? Because you feel sorry for me?”

No, because you finally let me in. Because you told me something I don’t think you’ve ever told anyone.

“Feel sorry for you? No way, I wouldn’t dare,” Shane said drily. “I guess I just got over it, Matt. It happens.” His voice hardened. “But I meant what I said. If you ever don’t want to be around me, just tell me that. Come in and say, ‘I changed my mind’ or ‘I gotta go’ or ‘Fuck you, clown,’ but don’t ever leave me hanging like that again. Okay?”

“Okay.” Matt reached over and put his hand on Shane’s arm. “I’m sorry.”

“I know. And now it’s over and done with. Truce?”

Nodding, Matt said softly, “Truce. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. And hey. Our weaknesses are what make us human, you know.” Shane scooted a little closer. “I’m finding I much prefer Matt the human to Matt the superhero.”

Matt smiled at that. “So what are your weaknesses, Shane?”

“Oh, way too many to count,” Shane said lightly, rolling to his back to avoid Matt’s gaze. “But right now the biggest one is a prickly dark-eyed hottie who’s on my mind a lot more often than he should be.”

“On your mind a lot, hmm?”

“A lot.”

Matt leaned over him. “Dark-eyed hottie?”