Page 48 of Trusting a Warrior

“I’m bi. So yeah, ‘closet’ is a pretty good word for it.”

Risking a glance up at him, she could see how rigid his jaw was, his lips compressed into a tight line. How much trust had it taken for him to reveal that? A pang shot through her. More than she’d ever know.

Instinctively, she hugged him tighter. “Thanks for telling me that,” she said softly. “What happened with you and Jake?”

He took a deep breath, the stiffness in his body slowly, incrementally, draining away. “He got tired of pretending to be my roommate. It was during DADT, so he couldn’t ever be anything else.”

Lani didn’t reply, because what was there to say? She leaned her cheek on his shoulder as he went on, “I loved him, but not enough to fight for him, you know? When he walked out, I...let him.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

After a lengthy pause, he shrugged. “Me, too. It was a long time ago, though.”

“No one since?”

“No one serious. I really don’t let myself do serious anymore.”

“Yeah.” She grunted. “I’m with you on that, even if my one foray into a no-strings hookup didn’t end with, uh, no strings.”

Geo cast her a sympathetic glance. “A baby is one hell of a string, isn’t it?”

“I know! Jesus Christ, can’t I do anything right?”

She’d meant the words to sound flippant, but they came out throbbing with pain, and hot embarrassment immediately burned its way through her. Before she could babble on, he reached over and covered her fingers with his.

With an internal sob, Lani clutched on to him, grabbing hold of the silent comfort he offered. “Wow, I’m sorry,” she forced out. “You’re sitting ringside to a real shitshow, aren’t you?”

“What?” He chuckled softly. “And here I was thinking how brave you are. Silly me.”

She just shook her head.

“Look.” Geo slipped his arm around her waist and turned her to face the ocean. “See those guys?” He pointed, and under the weak moonlight glowing on the water, she could just make out some black rubber boats with shadowy figures inside, rowing away. “Those are BUD/S students. It’s mid Hell Week.”

Unbelievably, a laugh bubbled up in her chest. “Are you saying my life is like Hell Week?”

He threw her a reproving look. “I’m saying that by this point in the Week, those guys are so punchy from lack of sleep, they’re hallucinating all sorts of crazy shit. Their skin is so chafed that the saltwater feels like acid, but you know what? They keep going.”

She stared at the tight group of boats.

“Those dudes out there are the most determined sons of bitches on the planet right now. They’ve made it this far, and no way are they gonna fuckin’ quit. Not when they’re already halfway there. They’re exhausted, in pain, scared of what’s next, but they’re gonna keep going.” He gave her a squeeze. “Just like you. You’re brave as fuck, Lani.”

Before she could protest, he went on, “You are. You told me what you were going to do, therapy and whatnot, and by God, you’re doing it.” He grinned. “That’s what I have a ringside seat to, and I gotta tell you, I’m sorta diggin’ it.”

She couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, even as she dug her elbow into his side. “You’re weird. I don’t feel all that brave or anything, but whatever.”

Geo didn’t reply, but he left his arm where it was, and after a moment she let hers creep around his waist in return. Nestling against him, Lani soaked in his solid warmth, a shiver going through her at the sight of the little boats being buffeted by the cold, dark water.

“Did you hallucinate when you were going through it?” she asked curiously.

“Oh, fuck, yeah. I was convinced there was an evil clown following us. I kept shouting, ‘Better not come any closer, motherfucker!’”

She giggled.

“Another dude saw snakes crawling in and out of the boat, and this one guy swore he saw his mom’s face in the sky. I’d never met his mom, but when I looked at the sky, I saw her, too.” He shook his head. “Surreal.”

Her “geez” was hushed and heartfelt, and Geo said, “Sometimes, more times than I want to admit, the only thing that kept me going was the thought of Cade losing that bet. If it wasn’t for him, I probably would’ve f-failed—”

A sudden tremor went through him. Immediately he shook off her arm and turned his back, shoulders rising and falling as he sucked in a few ragged breaths. Lani stood frozen, aching to comfort him but unsure what he needed, or more importantly, what he’d accept. So she just waited, tummy in knots, until he finally faced her again, his eyes dry, jaw set.