Page 52 of Trusting a Warrior

Crack!

The lucky punch caught him directly in the jaw, and as he crashed to the ground, as his vision filled with flashing blue and red lights, then dimmed, he thought, “How much longer can I go on like this?”

Then everything went black.

“Let’s go, Monteverdi.”

The metal door whirred as Geo pushed himself up from the hard plastic bench. He waited for the detention officer to cuff his hands in front of him, then shuffled next to him down the hallway where they were buzzed through yet more sets of metal doors. At last the uniformed man unlocked the handcuffs and pointed toward a counter. “Go get your personal property.”

As he processed out, he could see his troop’s command master chief, Alex Cairel, pacing in the waiting room on the other side of the bulletproof glass. The officer handed Geo a manila envelope containing his wallet, phone and keys.

“You’re free to go.”

One more metal door, and then Geo was facing Alex, a tall Filipino man with colorful tattoo sleeves on his arms and a thunderous look on his face. “What the fuck, dude?”

Geo knew better than to say anything as they made their way outside to Alex’s SUV.

Alex railed on. “You’re the last guy I’d expect to get arrested in a fucking bar fight. Jesus Christ.”

The drive was made back to the bar in a miserable silence. Alex pulled up next to Geo’s truck, but before Geo could get out, he ordered, “Wait.”

Geo froze with his door halfway open.

“I know you went through a lot with your last platoon,” Alex said quietly. “I’m wondering if you’re dealing with it.”

Swallowing hard, Geo croaked, “Yeah, I’m—”

“Because I don’t think you are,” Alex interrupted. “When you first came on board, I talked with your former CMC. He told me you refused to see the Navy psychologist they sent over after Barlow’s death.”

His gut churning, Geo let out a bitter snort. “That guy was a fuckin’ joke, Master Chief. He wasn’t there to help us, he was there to satisfy his own morbid curiosity about what happened.”

Painful memories flooded him, of how the psychologist’s questions in their group session had focused on what everyone saw and heard, and what they thought Cade was feeling the moment he pulled the trigger.

“Who cares? The dude’s dead!” Geo had wanted to shout. “We’re the ones who need help now!” But he didn’t shout it. Instead, he’d clamped his lips shut and stared at the toes of his boots. Afterward, when the guy tried to set up one-on-one appointments with the platoon, Geo had refused to go.

He glanced over at Alex in time to see his face soften.

“Look, I get it. Guys like us aren’t programmed to ask for help. I’m not saying it’s easy, or that I’d be first in line myself. But I want you to know that the leadership of this task unit is as committed to your mental health as we are to the physical side. We’re here for you, George, so come to us.”

Yeah, right. Sure. And have the guys think he was weak, or that he considered himself worse off than anyone else. They all had shit to deal with. He wasn’t special.

“Thanks, Master Chief,” Geo managed. He paused. “Am I, uh, still getting on the plane?”

Alex nodded as he clapped him on the shoulder. “You’d better be on that fuckin’ plane. See you in a few hours.”

After he’d driven off, Geo leaned against the bed of his truck, hands stuffed in his pockets. He shivered in the cool night air, jaw throbbing, his head aching from the effects of too much alcohol and too little sleep. God, what a fucking mess.

Tilting his head back, he stared at the predawn sky. His life choices really sucked ass. If he’d accepted Lani’s invitation, none of this would be happening. Instead, he was hung over, beat up and lurking in a deserted parking lot at four in the morning.

At least the bar had declined to press charges, since there hadn’t been any damage done and he’d been the only one injured. He reached up to probe the bruise on his jaw, wincing in both pain and shame.

Tonight he’d acted like the worst kind of thug, accosting and intimidating someone who clearly wasn’t a threat. A douche and a liar, for sure, but not a threat. In that moment, with his anger raging out of control, he’d thought it okay to set Tariq’s safety aside in order to “expose” an asshole and “save” a woman who hadn’t asked to be saved.

All because he’d been looking for a fight. Any fight.

I’m sorry, Tariq. I’m sorry, Lani.

On a tidal wave of remorse, Geo texted them both. He stuck his phone in his pocket not expecting any reply, and when it buzzed loudly, it startled him so much he jumped. Heart pounding, he pulled it back out and stared at the screen.