Page 40 of Lilies from Hell

“Open your mouth,” he says when he pulls away from me.

The blue of his eyes makes me tremble and takes me to another dimension, making me hear his voice like an echo in the distance. As soon as I part my lips, I feel the crucifix on my tongue, then reaching my tonsils. When it’s full of my saliva, he spits into it. Then, he runs it over my stomach. He lifts my tank top to free my breasts before bringing it to my folds.

When I feel the object on my clitoris, I look for a thousand excuses, trying to make my body understand that it shouldn’t react, that it’s not right. But as expected, it doesn’t work and only makes those desires that I have been waiting so long to fulfill and hiding from everyone become more intense.

I close my eyes and bite the tip of my tongue as I feel the piece of porcelain slowly enter until I feel pressure.

I want to bring my hands to my mouth to stifle a gasp, but his hand won’t let me free my wrists. My vision becomes blurred by tears from the unbearable tension in my lower abdomen. A sharp pain spreads through it as it pierces that strange pressure, and my toenails dig into the sheets. A slight, uncontrollable tremor appears in my legs.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he murmurs, his blue eyes fixed on my intimacy.

The pain subsides as he penetrates me more deeply, being careful at first. I sway my hips to a steady beat. He silences my moans by covering my mouth with his hand, the same one that moments ago held my wrists. He forces my head against the wall, leaving me unable to move. His thrusts become more intense, and I climax with a muffled scream that’s barely audible over the movie and his hand.

Then he removes his hand while I gasp for the oxygen that intense and pleasurable sensation has taken from me. I’m too scared to talk. My legs are still shaking, and my voice is quivering. Seeing him lick the blood from the porcelain bring a deep blush to my cheeks. His pleasure and thirst are unlike anything I’d ever witnessed.

He leaves the crucifix hanging upside down on the wall where it was before. Why? I have no idea, but it’s creepy. I could barely keep my eyes open. He brushed hair from my face, then kissed me, fully in control of the moment.

As we part, he tilts my face to expose my neck. At an unexpected moment, his teeth graze my skin, causing me to gasp with pleasure. I don’t know if his teeth have pierced my skin, but what is certain is that his lips are stained with my blood again. After I move my body, leaving my head on the pillow, and fall into a deep sleep, listening to his voice saying something I can’t understand.

His possessive treatment of my body, his sinister words, and the marks he left on my skin after our kitchen kiss make me shudder. It’s as if something inside me knew I was his even before I knew it. Before I knew he would come back into my life. I know when I wake up in the middle of the night, whispering his name in my dreams like an unholy prayer, that I am obsessed.

15

I groan when I sit up in bed and feel a sharp pain in my entrance. A simple reminder that what happened last night was real and not another one of my dreams about him.

I get out of bed and go to the mirror. My eyes fall on the marks of his teeth on both sides of my neck. My cheeks flush and my heart beats faster with every passing second as I caress them with my fingertips. I’m unsure how to feel, but I definitely don’t want him sneaking into my bedroom again tonight. Even if his story about the blonde is accurate and he is single.

I don’t want to get my hopes up for more than I would hate to admit, because I don’t even know if he’s really capable of feeling anything at all. It’s no secret that his mind doesn’t work properly. I’m surrounded by bad people, yes, but I know for sure that none of them would react the way he does. No one else is so cruel and bloodthirsty. Can a heart so twisted really hold the capacity for love? Especially me, the annoying and stalker little daughter of his partner and the girl he shares a strange and devious sexual attraction with. I’d sooner expect Jesus to come down in flip-flops to reprimand me for misusing his sacred ornaments.

Going downstairs to the kitchen, I cover my neck with my hair before I run into the maid and the butler. Then I make myself a coffee and grab a couple of oatmeal cookies. As I sit down on the stool, I have to shift around until I find a position that is as comfortable as possible.

A couple of minutes later, my phone vibrates with an incoming call. When I think it’s him, my heart pounds and my coffee spills. However, my body immediately relaxes and a cheerful smile appears when I see the name on the screen.

“When are you planning to come back? I miss you,” I hasten to say, puffing out my cheeks and pursing my lips to look cute. All I manage to do is make her laugh out loud.

“I don’t know, hopefully soon. I don’t enjoy being away either. Imagine all the gossip I must be missing.” I raise both eyebrows, amused.

“Yes, poor you,” I reply before bringing the cup to my lips. Grace wrinkles her brow, analyzing my face through the screen.

“Are you sure nothing else happened that night?” she asks, enunciating more than usual as if that would confirm something that didn’t happen.

“I already told you no. What else do you think happened?”

“Are you telling me that after all these years, you can finally be with him and you just threw it away? I don’t believe you. That’s not how I raised you,” she replies, pretending to wipe away a tear. Probably remembering the times I told her about my desire to lose my virginity to him a few years ago when we were in high school.

If I had told her that, somehow, that wish came true yesterday, she would have climbed the walls.

“Well, believe it.”

“First you give him hints, and then when something finally happens, you’re afraid to go through with it,” she mutters, shaking her head. Her lips pursed in disapproval. My teeth clench the soft skin of my lip, unable to find anything credible to say. We’ve come a long way, but I don’t only want his lust.

“I’m just not sure. I’d rather take it slow.”

“If I were there, I would help you figure things out,” she says.

She has always been my rock in moments when my insecurity prevented me from acting the way I really wanted to, so I have no doubt about that.

“And there are some things I need to tell you.”