Page 105 of Love Unspoken

Had I felt too comfortable? Is that why, when Kath reappeared, those old feelings of living on the edge in a relationship came rushing back? Is that why I'd been so easily swayed—why I hesitated when Amara needed me to be certain of my feelings for her?

Had I been bored with Amara, with the ease of our relationship, of it being too comfortable? I wasn't a teenager; I was thirty, a grown man, and was it folly to continue to look at relationships in the light of something I'd felt when I was a teenager?

"I don't know, Kath—" I started, but she cut me off by dropping a kiss on my mouth, a light one.

It felt wrong, and I jerked back. I felt like I was cheating on Amara. We'd just ended, and it wasn't right to already move on, not even grieve a relationship that had meant so much that I'd, for the first time in my life, asked a woman to move in with me.

"Lucas, don't you see?" she whispered, leaning in, her voice urgent, ignoring my reticence. "We were always meant to be together. I know I made mistakes; we both did. But we've grown up. We can make it work now. We're ready for each other."

I looked at her, the woman who had been my world for so long, the woman who was still everything I should want. My heart twisted in my chest. Kath was offering us a chance to rekindle what we once had, to recapture the fire that had burned so hot between us.

But there was a nagging doubt in the back of my mind, a voice that kept reminding me of how different it had been with Amara. How right it had felt to be with her. But that was over now, and Kath was here, in front of me, asking me to take her.

"We could try," I heard myself saying, the words slipping out before I could stop them. "We could see if there's…." Anything left?

Kath's face lit up with a smile that spread across her entire expression. "There's a charity gala this weekend," she spoke quickly, as if afraid I might change my mind.

I hated such affairs, and thankfully, since Amara never wanted to put herself or me on display, I'd happily avoided most of them for two years.

"I know how you feel about them," she grinned, "But this will be a nice way for us to…get to know one another again."

I hesitated, but the truth was, I didn't have a reason to say no. Amara was gone, and maybe Kath was the one who had always been meant for me. Maybe this was our second chance. But fuck, if it didn't make me feel like an asshole, one who used Amara so I could get over Kath, and the minute my ex was available, I dropped my live-in girlfriend like she meant nothing to me.

"Alright, send the details to Diedra," I agreed, my voice firm, though there was still a part of me that wasn't sure.

"The Magnolia Ball⁠—"

I groaned. The Magnolia Ball was held annually at the Charleston Preservation Society Mansion. It was dedicated to raising funds for The Lowcountry Heritage Foundation, a local non-profit focused on preserving and restoring Charleston's historic buildings and landmarks as well as supporting educational programs for underprivileged youth. LPC donated generously since my grandmother was on the board of the foundation and LPC.

"It'll be fun. I promise." She beamed at me, a smile I hadn't seen directed toward me in years and leaned in to press a kiss to my cheek.

"I'm sure." I could never say no to Kath, could I? It looked like, even after all these years, that hadn't changed.

Did I ever turn Amara down when she asked me to go somewhere? Yes, I did, and she also told me when she couldn't make some event or party or just didn't feel like going. I never took offense, and she never pressured me, either. Was that because we didn't care enough for each other? Or was it simply that we were in a relationship where there wasn't a lot of forcing one to do something they didn't like to do?

"You won't regret it, Lucas," she murmured, her breath warm against my skin.

As she left my office, the door clicking shut behind her, I leaned back in my chair again, staring out at the Charleston skyline. The sun was setting, casting long shadows across the city, and for a moment, I let myself believe that I was doing the right thing.

But deep down, in a place I didn't want to acknowledge, I knew that I was walking into troubled waters.

I couldn't shake the feeling that I was making a deal with the devil, one that could cost me more than I had already lost. Because I had lost Amara, I lost that beautiful relationship that made me smile. I wouldn't be going home to her anymore. She wouldn't be waiting, listening to a seminar while she cooked with a glass of wine in hand. She wouldn't wrap herself around me at night after we made love; after she gave me in bed more than I gave her, always. She wouldn't whisper how much she loved me when I slid inside her, feeling that everything in my world was right.

I hung my head in shame because I knew I had let Amara down. She'd been honest, always. Even now, she told me that I hurt her and she still felt pain. She didn't pretend she was fine. She didn't lie. She didn't obfuscate. She spoke her truth.

I wish I had told her it wasn't just guilt I felt—I was hurting too, and I missed her. But it seemed so small and trivial compared to her anguish, the one I could hear in her voice and see on her face. And what right did I have to share that with Amara? I had no business asking her to see my bruises, self-inflicted ones because when she asked me if I loved her, I hadn't been able to open my heart—instead, I'd fallen back on being a gentleman, saying I didn't want to hurt her; but ultimately did exactly that with a viciousness that she'd never forgive and I'd never be able to make up for.

It's a good thing then, Lucas because that relationship is over. You're moving on with Kath now.

That would be all good and easy if it wasn't Amara I thought about before I fell asleep, wanting her and woke up wondering how she was.

FIVE

AMARA

I didn't like going to parties. It wasn't my thing. But I'd acquired enough clothes to go to some since Lucas and I started dating. I wasn't like Patsy, Shelby, or Kath, who never repeated an outfit because, duh, I wasn't independently wealthy—but I had nice enough dresses so I didn't look like a dog.

It was my first time at the Magnolia Ball and I was reluctantly impressed. The Charleston Preservation Society Mansion was lit up like a jewel, its grand façade glowing under the soft, warm light of chandeliers that spilled out from every window. The gardens, lined with ancient magnolia trees, were filled with the scent of blooming flowers and the soft murmur of conversations drifting through the air. Twinkling lights hung from the branches, casting a romantic glow over the cobblestone pathways where elegantly dressed couples strolled, their laughter mingling with the soft strains of a string quartet playing in the background.