Page 117 of Hellbound

If I wasn’t, wouldn’t someone have loved me by now?

Marian raked a hand through her hair. The edge of a nail scraped the outer edge of her brow.

Vale caught her hand and slowly pried it from her scalp. “You can’t keep measuring your life against one mistake. I read the complaint; nothing short of liturgical theater could make your mother’s death look like anything but an accident. You wanted Daniel to live tonight so that he might one day forgive you.” Vale lowered his voice. “You’ve committed no sin, no crime. Forgive yourself and let this go once and for all.”

Marian stared at him in disbelief. How she wanted to wrap herself up in those words and believe and obey them. But she couldn’t. Vale couldn’t understand.

“I can’t,” she whispered.

A sudden shift in Vale’s demeanor had her tensing up. A chill passed between them.

“You say you’re broken like that makes you lesser,” he murmured. “But broken things have the sharpest edges, and I would want nothing less for a blade.”

That tiny, brittle hope inside her shrank away, its place taken by cold hard stone. Vale raised a hand as if to brush another pesky strand of her hair out of her face. Marian jerked out of reach.

“Says the fucker who can’t bleed,” she said as she turned and left room.

Marian awoke the next day with a muffled scream, barked “fuck off” at the arachnid shadows watching her from the foot of her bed, and sulked in the bathroom until an idea took shape.

She needed answers. Just not Vale’s.

“I have to find Greg,” Marian announced as she barged into Tori’s room.

The traveler blinked up from the nails she was filing. “You want to bust out of here?”

Marian hesitated. She hadn’t worked out the logistics, but the intent was there. “Yes.”

Tori flashed her a brilliant smile as she scooted off her chair. “Let’s do it. So long as we can stop off at my parents’ place afterward.”

“If you’re down to drive, we can go wherever you want.”

Tori stilled. “What are we doing? Bailing for good, or just going for a joyride?”

Marian chewed on her lower lip.

“Joyride. But if you want to bail, I won’t hold it against you.”

Tori mirrored Marian’s expression. “Let me think about it. For now, let’s figure out how to steal an Audi. I’ve got a wallet but no phone.”

“Fuck yeah,” Marian said as she shut the door to hash out a plan in private.

Marian buzzed Greg when she arrived. The white gate whirred briefly before the mechanism inside clicked, and Marian let herself into the concrete courtyard. A large fountain sputtered in the middle, the water a vibrant, unnatural blue as it poured from the open mouths of breaching dolphins.

She ascended the steps to the fourth floor, where Greg stood in the doorway of his condo. He was shirtless in an open faux fur white robe, his odd physique on display. White track pants with gold piping up the sides sagged on his hips. The scowl he wore told Marian he wasn’t nearly as pleased to see her as his tone on the phone suggested.

“I knew you’d come crawling back to me eventually, but you sure did take your fucking time.”

Marian palmed her burner phone anxiously.

“Sorry,” she muttered. “Can I come in?”

Greg looked her up and down, his expressing thawing as he took her in. He jerked his head over his shoulder as he stepped inside. “Shoes off.”

Marian closed her eyes when he turned his back to her. Deep breaths.

She opened them and stepped inside the sprawling condo. Unlike Marian, it was clear where Greg’s money went. It was the ocean view and bearskin rug. Lines of cocaine on a gold table between his massive white sofa and the giant television mounted to the wall.

There was a waterbed in the master bedroom. He’d almost convinced her to lie on it with him after four beers. A panic attack saved her from disaster.