Page 108 of Ruin

“Good night, Cameron.”

His tone brokers no conversation, and honestly, it’s a relief because I didn’t actually know what I was going to say to him. I was just going to wing it.

I walk away and go into my and Gigi’s room, quietly closing the door behind me. I don’t even bother brushing my teeth. I just undress and pull on a clean nightshirt. Then, I climb in bed beside my baby girl, who has starfished out in bed, taking up most of the room. Nothing new there.

I lie on my back and stare up at the darkened ceiling, wishing for answers that just won’t come.

It’s clear that I can’t stay away from Zeus.

But I can’t be with him either.

A silent tear of frustration runs down my cheek. I brush it away with my hand.

I’m such a mess.

And I fear that I’m just going to keep messing things up further. Because, when it comes to Zeus, I have zero control. And zero sense.

The man is my weakness. My downfall. My ruin.

He always has been.

And it seems that he always will be.

Gigi’s sleeping. Aunt Elle is downstairs, going over some case files. And I’m lying on my bed with my earbuds in, listening to music on my phone. Currently, P!nk is in my ears, telling me I need to “Try.”

Maybe I do. Try to get Zeus out of my head and heart.

The asshole.

We got back from Disney World yesterday. And things have been difficult between us since we slept together that night.

Not so much that Gigi has noticed. But I’ve definitely noticed.

Clipped responses. Looking right through me like I barely exist.

It’s not…nice.

Truthfully, it’s annoying the crap out of me. He knew it was just sex. I’d told him that. He’d even repeated it back to me, for God’s sake!

Yet he’s pissed that I, what? Didn’t cuddle after sex?

Because that wouldn’t have given him the wrong idea, would it?

Ugh. I’m angry with him for being angry with me. He has no right. I’ve done nothing wrong.

Right?

So…why do I feel guilty? Why do I feel like the shittiest human being on the planet right now? And why is it annoying me so much that he’s ignoring me?

Because you love him, you idiot.

If I’m being honest…the thing that’s bothering me most is what happened when he was here earlier…well, more like what I saw.

Zeus was upstairs, putting Gigi to bed and reading her a story, like usual.

I was tidying away Gigi’s shoes that she’d left scattered all over the hall.

Zeus’s cell was on the hall table, next to his car keys. I wasn’t snooping, but his phone started ringing. I glanced at the screen and the display said, Mindi Calling.