Page 79 of Ruin

“I can’t do this with you.”

His confusion turns to hurt. I see it sear into his eyes.

He steps back. Drives his fingers into his hair, linking his hands over his head.

“Cam—”

“I need you to leave.”

He stares at me for a long moment until I can no longer take it. I look away, eyes staring down the hall.

The next thing I hear is the door being yanked open. I feel the cool of the night air hit my skin. The door closes firmly.

I lean back against the wall.

He’s gone.

That’s what I wanted, right? That’s what I told him to do.

Even still, tears fill my eyes.

And, when I hear his car engine come to life, something ignites inside me. I don’t want to put a name to the feeling, but I know it well.

Then, I’m moving. I yank open the front door with no clue as to what I’m going to say to him, only knowing I don’t want him to leave like this.

But I’m too late.

His car is already gone.

Working overtime while functioning on a few hours’ sleep is not good. I feel like a zombie.

I forgot how hard it was to do a day’s work on little sleep. It’s been a while since I had to do it because Gigi started sleeping through the night like the awesome kid she is by the time she was one.

Nothing gets in the way of my girl and her sleep.

Unfortunately for me, plenty was getting in the way of my sleep.

Well, just one thing.

Zeus.

Every time I closed my eyes, I could feel the ghost of his lips on mine and the heat of his body pressed up against me…and the hurt in his eyes when I rejected him.

I royally screwed up last night.

I should’ve headed him off at the pass. But I had been weak, and I’d let him kiss me.

Hell, I’d pretty much attacked his mouth the second he kissed me.

I haven’t spoken to him since last night. I received a perfunctory text from him earlier, telling me that he’d picked up Gigi from pre-K and they were at his place.

I could feel the chill emanating from my phone.

I felt sick, reading it.

I still feel sick and awful and sad.

Kissing Zeus last night only served to remind me of how good things used to be between us. How hot we used to be for each other. How amazing he always made me feel. How easy things between us had been back when we were younger and in love.