Page 93 of Ruin

The freshness of the air hitting my face does nothing to clear my head.

“Cam…”

I stop, but I don’t turn around. If I do, I’ll crumble.

I hear him move closer.

Feel the warmth of him when he’s near.

My heart starts to feel…to ache.

I shut my eyes again, desperately fighting against my feelings.

“Cam…” he says again, his voice deep and thick with emotion. “Just because I’m letting you go…doesn’t mean I’m letting you go.”

The understanding of his words whispers through me, heading straight for my weakening heart, repairing and breaking it, all at the same time.

“I fucking love you. I’ve loved you since I was seventeen years old and saw you standing at the fair, looking like the answer to a question I didn’t know I’d asked. I knew it then, and I still know it now. There is no one else for me. I’m yours. And you sure as hell are mine. We’re meant to be together. And the more you fight me on this, the more I’ll fight back—and twice as hard. And I’ll fight dirty if I have to. For as long as necessary. I’m here and ready to do this to get you back with me—where you belong. I’ve never lost a fight, Dove. And I don’t intend on losing this one. You’re far too fucking important to me for that to happen.”

I pull in a shuddering breath. My heart hammering in my chest. Thoughts and feelings pulling me in two very different directions.

I don’t say anything. I can’t say anything.

I mean, what can I say to that?

So, I do the only thing I can right now. I take a step forward, away from him, and then another and another. And I keep moving until I’m inside my car and driving away from him.

But, deep down, I know it doesn’t matter how much distance I put between myself and Zeus because I’ve always been weak when it comes to him.

Even now, I can hear his words in my head, smell his scent on my skin…feel his body against mine.

And I crave these things. Like an addict.

Maybe I have more of my mother inside me than I realized.

Knowing that and knowing Zeus and how he is when he wants something, it means I’m screwed.

Because me against him…it’s like a gazelle going up against a lion.

I won’t survive.

I know it. And he knows it.

So, there’s only one thing I can do.

Avoid him like the plague.

Avoiding someone when you have a kid together is as difficult as you think it would be.

It’s been a week since The Mistake, as I’m referring to it.

Saying I had sex—amazing, soul-searing, body-shivering sex—with Zeus has me saying stupid shit like that and making me want to turn up at his place and do it all over again.

So, yeah, The Mistake, it is.

Dodging Zeus is exhausting.

And I’m ashamed to say that I’ve used my daughter as an aid for avoidance. I’m a terrible mother. But, whenever Zeus and I have had to be together in the same room because of Gigi, I’ve made sure to follow my four-year-old daughter around like a shadow at all times.