Page 110 of Rush

He looks at me. “You wouldn’t have been there for this to happen if I hadn’t been away.”

“You had a game.”

“I always have a game.”

“Dad…” My mouth goes dry.

“I know I failed you. Time and time again. I know it was wrong, but I couldn’t cope with your mom at the time…how she was…so I avoided being at home. I didn’t think about how that affected you. I was selfish. And. when she died…I should’ve been there. The guilt was eating me up so bad; I couldn’t look at you without feeling shame.”

“I always thought it was because I reminded you of her.”

“No. Christ, no.” He puts his hand on mine, gripping it. “You do look like her. You’re beautiful, just like your mom. But it was my own shame…I failed you, Ari. And, now, I’ve failed you again.”

“You haven’t failed me.” I squeeze his hand. “Truth: yes, you failed me back then, when I needed you, and I spent a lot of years being mad at you.”

“Is that the reason you drank? Because of your mom?”

Tears squeeze at my eyes. “Partly…”

He closes his eyes and heaves out a breath. “I’m going to sort this out for you.” He opens his eyes and brushes a fallen tear from my cheek. “I’m going to kill the son of a bitch who did this to you.”

“No.” I shake my head. “I’m going to do this the right way. I’m going to report it to the police.”

“Can I…go to the station with you?” he asks tentatively.

I give him a sad smile. “I’d really like that.”

“And Ares…have you spoken to him yet? He left the hotel without letting anyone know he was leaving. I was guessing he’d seen the video.”

“He, um…” I look away from my dad, picking my coffee up and taking a sip. “He came here first thing this morning, before I went to the hospital. He’d seen the video. I tried to tell him that I hadn’t drunk any liquor, but…he wouldn’t believe me.”

“Have you told him about the drug test?”

I shake my head and lower my cup to the table.

“You need to tell him.”

My eyes flash to my dad’s. “I don’t have to tell him a thing. He’s supposed to believe me. Not a drug test. He doesn’t trust me, and I’ve never given him a reason not to. And, without trust, we have nothing.”

My feelings toward Ares, the way he reacted, are turning to anger and bitterness, and I’m clinging to them because it’s all that will get me through this…through losing him.

“He deserves to know the truth,” my dad counters.

“I gave him the truth, and it wasn’t good enough, coming from me.”

“I know. But you have to see it from his point.”

“I get that.” I dig my hand into my hair, frustrated. “But he didn’t even give me a chance. He came here, guns blazing. He’d already made his mind up about what had happened, so it didn’t matter what I said. He was never going to believe me.”

“I know, Ari, but his background, with his dad…he has a hard time trusting people.”

“Especially drunks. Yeah, I get that. But I’m not his dad. He can’t hold me up against his dad every time something goes wrong. Either he trusts me or he doesn’t. And it’s clear that he doesn’t.”

My dad drags a hand down his face. “Okay.” He exhales. “I get what you’re saying. I don’t agree with you not telling him. But I get it.”

“And don’t you tell him either.”

“Ari—”